How do you like me now

The more I look at life out of the combat zone, I realize I miss the clarity of purpose that made my life so much more straightforward. Whether I'm ready to deal with the unbelievably corrosive aspects to my personality that is the price of doing that remains to be seen. It's been two and a half years since coming out of the combat zone and my estrangement from much of what I call home is still pretty goddamn palpable. Either that or it's the same kind of generalized anger at my lost youth that I described last week.

It could also be because it's x-moose season and as usual, I'm on the fucking rag every x-moose. My wife is an x-mas True Believer. I am the ultimate x-moose Heretic, if only because I've associated x-moose with earth-shattering heartbreak (and not entirely mine) on a number of occasions. So, to quote my favorite seasonal song, "Fuck Christmas."

"Fuck 'em, he decided. Just fuck 'em. Fuck everybody who doesn't come out here and do this."

James Webb, Fields of Fire

4.6mi, 44:41, 10 DEC 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink: that dog., "Being With You"

WX at 0900: 25.0 (-3.9) DP 19.0 (-7.2) BP 30.5 (1032) S 10 RH 77 WC 15 (-9)

Odometer 11C: 26.5mi

Z2. Average/max heart rate = 149/170

I am typing this on a Rosewill RK-9000BR keyboard, and I realize that I have such a heavy-handed typing style (those who have seen me in real life know this already) that I will fucking fling this keyboard out the window because the keystrokes are so light. I need a keyboard that will hold up to domestic abuse, so it's getting returned. The keyboard is glorious, but I need a keyboard that will accomodate a less pussificationeque typing style.

Easy run today, recovery run after the last few days.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 09:33 09:33 09:33 09:33 1.00
1.00 19:08 09:35 09:35 09:34 2.00
1.00 28:55 09:47 09:47 09:38 3.00
1.00 38:41 09:46 09:46 09:40 4.00
0.60 44:41 06:00 10:00 09:43 4.60

5.76mi, 49:52, 9 DEC 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
Daft Punk, "End of Line"
Daft Punk, "Derezzed"
that dog., "Hawthorne"
that dog., "Long Island"

WX at 0700: 24 (-4) DP 19 (-7) BP 30.34 (1027) NNE 7 RH 81 WC 16 (-9)

Odometer 11B: 235.6mi

Z4. Average/max heart rate = 160/179

I didn't really want to go for a run, but I needed to after sleeping in yesterday. I felt better than I thought I would, after about two miles. Time for coffee. At least this morning's iThinks didn't suck.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:49 08:49 08:49 08:49 1.00
1.00 17:17 08:28 08:28 08:39 2.00
1.00 25:55 08:38 08:38 08:38 3.00
1.00 34:45 08:50 08:50 08:41 4.00
1.00 43:36 08:51 08:51 08:43 5.00
0.76 49:52 06:16 08:15 08:39 5.76

5.27mi, 46:08, 7 DEC 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink: Above and Beyond, "On A Good Day"

WX at 0700: 14.0 (-10.0) DP 10.0 (-12.2) BP 30.14 (1020) SSW 8 RH 84 WC 3 (-16)

Odometer 11C: 21.9mi

Z4. Average/max heart rate = 162/180

Goddamn today was cold. But after the amount I ate last night, I need to run.

I passed a big group today. The Command and General Staff College was doing a big-ass formation run this morning. It is not good when you see a straggler chain going back a half mile, not two miles past the start. Sad, sad, sad.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:31 08:31 08:31 08:31 1.00
1.00 17:21 08:50 08:50 08:41 2.00
1.00 26:19 08:58 08:58 08:46 3.00
1.00 35:07 08:48 08:48 08:47 4.00
1.00 43:47 08:40 08:40 08:45 5.00
0.27 46:08 02:21 08:42 08:45 5.27

4.6mi, 40:53, 6 DEC 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink: that dog., "Being With You"

WX at 0700: 17 (-8) DP 12 (-11) BP 30.37 (1028) NNW 10 light snow RH 80 WC 5 (-15)

Odometer 11B: 229.8mi

Z4. Average/max heart rate = 156/174

Slow, but I had to run today. Can't eat more than two days of Do Nothing But Eat in a row. Also the first day of running in the cold and realized that sweatpants just don't work for me as they bind my legs. I'll figure something out.

I had today iThink stuck in my head this morning, but after the run it was a tossup between "Cowboy Hat" and "Until The Day I Die."

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:46 08:46 08:46 08:46 1.00
1.00 17:45 08:59 08:59 08:52 2.00
1.00 26:44 08:59 08:59 08:55 3.00
1.00 35:33 08:49 08:49 08:53 4.00
0.60 40:53 05:20 08:53 08:53 4.60

A little catharsis of my younger years

As I go through chapter 3 of the dissertation for edits and cleanup tonight, I've been listening to a video of that dog.'s reunion show at the Troubadour in West Hollywood, CA from 26 August 2011.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4 of the show are here.

Of the bands of my younger years, there was no band that I'd placed as much emotional baggage (in some ways) as that dog. I'm not sure why; I didn't discover them until about the time they had broken up. I had Gerry Dolan, one of my classmates from Johns Hopkins, for the hat tip. He sent "Never Say Never" on a tape (and later, their cover of "Midnight at the Oasis" from the compilation disk Spirit of '73) while I was in Kuwait for an INTRINSIC ACTION exercise in 1997. There was a certain hopefulness to "Never Say Never" that for some reason really stuck with me. It was a a statement of love that, being unattached at the time, I sure wanted to visit on someone else.

I remember a fair amount of disillusionment after I came back from Kuwait. In retrospect, I realize that life in a deployed cavalry squadron task force had a certain degree of intensity that was lacking when I came back to the United States. I returned with a fucking shitload of expectations for what I thought my life was going to be like and realized very, very few of them. It wasn't until much later that I realized that those adjustments were normal and I just didn't take to them well. That level of dislocation wasn't shit compared to what I felt after I came back from Iraq and Afghanistan.

I still consider Retreat from the Sun one of my favorite albums ever. It was one of the first albums I ripped to disk (at 128k CBR) when I bought my first computer that could rip MP3s back in 1999. I guess I need to cart out my that dog. disks and rerip those tracks at 256k VBR.

I'm not sure why listening to that dog. had so much more significance. I can only conjecture that it was because the three women in that band were within months of my age. Petra Haden is a violinist (as am I) and had a note in the liner notes of Retreat from the Sun that she uses Dr. Thomastik Dominants as her primary string. First time I used Dominants was sometime in 1985 and they're still my string of choice, even though I haven't picked up the violin in months. I had a tremendous crush on Petra Haden back then.

It's been 14 years since that deployment to Kuwait and I am older, fatter, slower, and maybe even a bit wiser rather than the dumber that I occasionally claim to be. I'm married now, and have children.

I have far, far more anger than I used to have, even compared to that summer of unfulfilled dreams.

A cautionary note on my chosen profession

In a 1998 conference at the Naval Postgraduate School, COL (Ret) Harry Summers Jr., made some comments about professional military education that are worth taking to heart.

Among other things, I am the founding editor and publisher of Vietnam magazine, now in its tenth year. This last year, we had a piece by Major General Guy Meloy who, as some of you may know, as a lieutenant colonel in Vietnam, commanded the 1st of the 27th Infantry "Wolfhounds." In November 1966, he got in a very severe fight with a Vietcong regiment. He normally commanded three rifle companies but, in the course of this battle, ended up commanding 11 rifle companies. He was reinforced piecemeal, by eight rifle companies from other battalions, and even beyond his brigade. In the conclusion to his article, he said that his other commanders didn't know him from Adam. They had never met him. They didn't even know his name. All they knew was a call sign over the radio. And all he knew about them was a call sign over the radio. But he ordered them, literally, to their deaths, and he got no argument. All he got was a "Roger" over the radio, as they closed with the enemy. He said, "If you want a testimonial to the military's educational system, you can't get a stronger one than that." They shared the same concepts, the same values, the same notions, the same tactics as he did, and they didn't need to know each other. They didn't need to know any more than a call sign over the radio that said, "Move out and close in on the enemy."

I think that is a lesson that we need to carry away. All of this military education has to focus on this point: when the time comes, does it work on the battlefield?

8.08mi on elliptical, 60:06, 3 DEC 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
Tommy Keene, "Today and Tomorrow"
The Go-Go's "Throw Me A Curve"

WX at 0900: 46.0 (7.8) DP 46.0 (7.8) BP 30.06 (1017) SSE 10 light rain; mist RH 100

Odometer 11C: 16.6mi equivalency

Z3 high. Average/max heart rate = no reading, but HRM was averaging 155, finishing close to 164 by the end.

It was raining and I didn't feel very ambitious, but I needed to work off all the pasta I ate last night for dinner. 60 minutes of self-mutilation on elliptical was the ticket today as I didn't think I was up to 10,000m on the Concept.

The calorie counter says I burned 760kcal but I think I burned more than that. I could be wrong, of course.

No splits.

4.57mi, 40:30, 2 DEC 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink: The Bats, "Flowers and Trees"

WX at 0700: 21.0 (-6.1) DP 18.0 (-7.8) BP 30.42 (1030) N 5 RH 87 WC 14 (-10)

Odometer 11B: 225.2mi

Z3 high. Average/max heart rate = 157/173

Same story as earlier runs this week. I ran this morning, felt so-so at start, dragged it out beyond the first 25-30 minutes, and felt a lot better. As the Talking Heads would say, "same as it ever was."

I ran this morning not because I wanted to run, but because I felt like I had to run. I didn't run yesterday and got in my most productive dissertation writing day in a long while. I'm not sure I like that dichotomy.

Oh, and it's cold again.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:54 08:54 08:54 08:54 1.00
1.00 17:55 09:01 09:01 08:58 2.00
1.00 26:48 08:53 08:53 08:56 3.00
1.00 35:35 08:47 08:47 08:54 4.00
0.57 40:30 04:55 08:38 08:52 4.57

3.6mi, 34:00, 30 NOV 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
The Loud Family, "Top Dollar Survivalist Hardware"
The Dream Academy, "Life In A Northern Town"

WX at 0700: 19.9 (-6.7) DP 15.1 (-9.4) BP 30.14 (1020) S 8 RH 81 WC 10 (-2)

Odometer 11C: 12.6mi

Z3. Average/max heart rate = 152/172

The HRM says it wasn't as easy as I'd hoped today, but the only parts I really felt like I was overworking was going uphill. I don't think I'm working as hard as the HRM says I am when I'm going about 155-160bpm. That's always been the case, or maybe I have a hard time running slowly.

The new shoes are starting to loosen up. This is a novelty, having to break in shoes, I guess. Second pair after the GT-2150 trails, which, in all, have turned out to be pretty good shoes. This is the first non-trail shoe I've bought in a while, so I suspect there are differences in outsole composition.

Not that it should really compensate for being a slow fatass.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 09:26 09:26 09:26 09:26 1.00
1.00 18:43 09:17 09:17 09:21 2.00
1.00 28:29 09:46 09:46 09:30 3.00
0.60 34:00 05:31 09:12 09:27 3.60

3.97mi, 37:08, 28 NOV 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink: Maritime, "Tearing Up The Oxygen"

WX at 0700: 34.0 (1.1) DP 28.0 (-2.2) BP 30.2 (1022) N 13 RH 78 WC 24 (-4)

Odometer 11C: 9.0mi

Z3. Average/max heart rate = 156/176

Uphills were HRMed harder than I felt. Today was deliberately easy after yesterday's run. Tomorrow looks to be another recovery run.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 09:24 09:24 09:24 09:24 1.00
1.00 18:40 09:16 09:16 09:20 2.00
1.00 28:10 09:30 09:30 09:23 3.00
0.97 37:08 08:58 09:15 09:21 3.97

Oh, chortle.

So, so true sometimes.

6.68mi, 58:18, 28 NOV 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
The Bats, "Flowers and Trees"
The Loud Family, "The Second Grade Applauds"

WX at 0900: 28.9 (-1.7) DP 24.1 (-4.4) BP 30.16 (1021) Calm RH 81

Odometer 11B: 220.7mi

Z4. Average/max heart rate = 162/180

Today started fairly quickly, but I think that was a reaction to it being below freezing. Second lap was the make-or-break as to whether I would go on for a third, and I felt good enough by the end of lap two (after my usual transition point of about 25-35 minutes) that I decided to go for a third.

Around the 6-mile mark is where I think I am hitting the second of the transition points around the 50 minute mark, or I'm just tired by that point. Maybe.

I finished smoother than I thought, but average heart rate is regularly higher than it should be for a run of this perceived intensity. I didn't think I was going particularly anaerobic, but I could be wrong, based on heart rate. My 80% MHR is around 153, so by that measure, I'm going too hard.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:33 08:33 08:33 08:33 1.00
1.00 17:13 08:40 08:40 08:36 2.00
1.00 25:59 08:46 08:46 08:40 3.00
1.00 34:35 08:36 08:36 08:39 4.00
1.00 43:21 08:46 08:46 08:40 5.00
1.00 52:17 08:56 08:56 08:43 6.00
0.68 58:18 06:01 08:51 08:44 6.68

5.03mi, 44:19, 27 NOV 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink: The XX, "Intro"

WX at 0800: 35.1 (1.7) DP 25.0 (-3.9) BP 30.21 (1023) NNW 16 RH 66

Odometer 11C: 5.0mi

Z4. Average/max heart rate = 159/180

I didn't feel that particularly great, and I was unsure how far I would go since I was having to break in some new shoes that I got on Black Friday.

I felt okay at the end, but a little rusty at the front end. The last few days of doing nothing but eating are a dangerous precedent, one I need to stave off in the future.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:43 08:43 08:43 08:43 1.00
1.00 17:08 08:25 08:25 08:34 2.00
1.00 25:59 08:51 08:51 08:40 3.00
1.00 35:04 09:05 09:05 08:46 4.00
1.03 44:19 09:15 08:59 08:49 5.03

6.66mi, 58:48, 23 NOV 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
The Smiths, "Sweet and Tender Hooligan"
Wire, "Silk Skin Paws"
New Order, "Regret" (The New Order Mix) (A b-side from the Regret EP)
The XX, "Intro"

WX at 0900: 39.0 (3.9) DP 37.9 (3.3) BP 30.24 (1024) S 9 mist RH 95

Odometer 11B: 214.0mi

Z4. Average/max heart rate = 160/177

I ran the magic distance today. Awesome. Yes, the magic distance is 6.66mi. That is a harbinger of great shit to come. Just because.

I've been listening to a lot of the Smiths lately, if only to rediscover parts of my lost childhood. Except I didn't think I spent much time as a child, looking back at it.

The Wire and New Order songs neatly bookend my freshman and senior years in college. I would wake up in the mornings to A Bell Is A Copy...Until It Is Struck as a freshman, and the New Order song was a standby of my senior year as I'd bought the EP before going off to what I called the Summer of the Hitler Youth (i.e., 10 weeks on temporary duty in three places) before coming back to school. Republic was released that summer, but I never got around to getting it until after I was back to school.

I felt like complete shite for the first lap of three. I felt better on two and was starting to tire by three, but I will pig the fuck out tomorrow, so I need to run. Meh.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:53 08:53 08:53 08:53 1.00
1.00 17:49 08:56 08:56 08:54 2.00
1.00 26:51 09:02 09:02 08:57 3.00
1.00 35:26 08:35 08:35 08:51 4.00
1.00 44:09 08:43 08:43 08:50 5.00
1.00 52:51 08:42 08:42 08:48 6.00
0.66 58:48 05:57 09:01 08:50 6.66

4.6mi, 41:18, 21 NOV 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
Above and Beyond feat. Oceanlab, "On A Good Day"
Ludwig van Beethoven, Symphony No. 3 "Eroica," Scherzo-Vivace
The XX, "Intro"

WX at 0700: 35.1 (1.7) DP 32.0 (0.0) BP 30.22 (1023) ENE 3 RH 88

Odometer 11B: 207.4mi

Z3. Average/max heart rate = 152/174

I was still a little beat, and woke up a bit later than I wanted, partly because I was up after midnight working on the dissertation.

I was thinking of the T.C. McQueen workout video soundtrack partly because of some unbidden memory of the 59th Ready Reserves, the old Internet fan group that got a shout out in the series finale. I have no idea why I thought about Space: Above and Beyond this morning.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:45 08:45 08:45 08:45 1.00
1.00 18:01 09:16 09:16 09:00 2.00
1.00 26:51 08:50 08:50 08:57 3.00
1.00 35:58 09:07 09:07 09:00 4.00
0.60 41:18 05:20 08:53 08:59 4.60

6.0mi, 53:44, 19 NOV 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink: Dum Dum Girls, "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out"

WX at 1000: 62 (17) DP 51 (11) BP 29.6 (1002) SSW 33 RH 67

Odometer 11B: 202.8mi

Z3. Average/max heart rate = 153/169

My legs were tired. Very tired. They felt much better after the 3 mile mark, about 30 minutes in. I finished surprisingly faster than I thought but tomorrow is a sleep in day if I really feel that beat. Maybe. I started slow thinking I was going to finish slow, but I felt good enough at the end where I sped up more than I thought I would.

At least the iThink today was a pleasant one. I am reminded of listening to one of my college classmates attempt to do a marching cadence to the tune of the original Smiths song and I started laughing uncontrollably. Then I told him to stop because I hurt so bad from laughing.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 09:02 09:02 09:02 09:02 1.00
1.00 17:47 08:45 08:45 08:54 2.00
1.00 27:11 09:24 09:24 09:04 3.00
1.00 36:23 09:12 09:12 09:06 4.00
1.00 44:58 08:35 08:35 09:00 5.00
1.00 53:44 08:46 08:46 08:57 6.00

4.6mi, 41:32, 18 NOV 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink: Daft Punk, "Derezzed"

WX at 0700: 42.1 (5.6) DP 26.1 (-3.3) BP 29.93 (1013) S 25 RH 52

Odometer 11B: 196.8mi

Z3. Average/max heart rate = 152/169

My legs felt very dead today, but after about 2.25mi they were much better. I suspect some of this is still the leftover lactic acid from finishing very hard on Wednesday.

Better get this out of the way than later. Dissertation work to do. At least today's iThink wasn't too embarrassing.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 09:12 09:12 09:12 09:12 1.00
1.00 18:16 09:04 09:04 09:08 2.00
1.00 27:29 09:13 09:13 09:10 3.00
1.00 36:13 08:44 08:44 09:03 4.00
0.60 41:32 05:19 08:52 09:02 4.60

6.0mi, 52:26, 16 NOV 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
The Judybats, "Our Story"
The Bats, "Flowers and Trees"
The XX, "Intro"

WX at 0800: 33.1 (0.6) DP 21.0 (-6.1) BP 30.16 (1021) N 6 RH 60 WC 28 (-2)

Odometer 11B: 192.2mi

Z3 with Z4 finish. Average/max heart rate = 156/175

Today didn't feel so great at the start, and my legs were still tired. I decided to go 6 today since I pigged out at an Indian lunch buffet yesterday and I had some sins like chicken tikka masala and kheer rice pudding to run off.

Tomorrow is a day of rest. My legs are going to hurt today, as hard as I was going in the last 1.5 miles.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:58 08:58 08:58 08:58 1.00
1.00 17:24 08:26 08:26 08:42 2.00
1.00 26:21 08:57 08:57 08:47 3.00
1.00 35:28 09:07 09:07 08:52 4.00
1.00 44:02 08:34 08:34 08:48 5.00
1.00 52:26 08:24 08:24 08:44 6.00

4.6mi, 41:33, 15 NOV 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
The Millions, "Ordinary Men"
U2, "I Will Follow"

WX at 0700: 32.0 (0.0) DP 27.0 (-2.8) BP 29.72 (1006) S 9 RH 81 WC 24 (-4)

Odometer 11A: 186.2mi

Z3. Average/max heart rate = 153/177

My legs were still pretty beat. I felt surprisingly better at around the 30-minute mark, probably due to warmup. The run before that was a little harder than I'd have liked. The finish was okay.

Today wasn't a recovery run proper, but it was not supposed to be hard either. It was neither.

I didn't expect it to be 32F today! The temperature dropped 7F in the hour beforehand...

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 09:05 09:05 09:05 09:05 1.00
1.00 18:09 09:04 09:04 09:04 2.00
1.00 27:18 09:09 09:09 09:06 3.00
1.00 36:09 08:51 08:51 09:02 4.00
0.60 41:33 05:24 09:00 09:02 4.60

4.6mi, 44:37, 14 NOV 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
The Judybats, "Down in the Shacks (Where the Satellite Dishes Grow)"
Daft Punk, "Derezzed"
Beastie Boys, "Intergalactic"
The Judybats, "Woman in the Garden"

WX at 0800: 44.1 (6.7) DP 35.1 (1.7) BP 29.56 (1001) NW 7 RH 70

Odometer 11A: 181.6mi

Z2 high. Average/max heart rate = 145/167

Recovery run, which was the right decision after yesterday. My legs were complaining all day yesterday, so I was going to run easy today at some point to work off the lactic acid.

I would never have figured I'd be running with "Woman in the Garden" as an iThink. To quote the other Judybats song, "well, I'm sorry, but when I met you, you were an asshole."

Yay.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 09:52 09:52 09:52 09:52 1.00
1.00 19:39 09:47 09:47 09:49 2.00
1.00 29:12 09:33 09:33 09:44 3.00
1.00 38:44 09:32 09:32 09:41 4.00
0.60 44:37 05:53 09:48 09:42 4.60

7.7mi, 66:20, 13 NOV 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
The Judybats, "Saturday"
The Dust Brothers, "Stealing Fat"
MewithoutYou, "January 1979"

WX at 0900: 57.9 (14.4) DP 37.9 (3.3) BP 29.5 (998) SW 14 RH 47

Odometer 11B: 174.0mi

Z4. Average/max heart rate = 162/180

Long run, after finding out it was shorts and t-shirt weather. Today was surprisingly fast for the distance in question but I figure I'd go easy tomorrow.

The Judybats sound would not de-earwig, in spite of my desire to get more homicidal-sounding iThinks in my head.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:35 08:35 08:35 08:35 1.00
1.00 16:56 08:21 08:21 08:28 2.00
1.00 25:45 08:49 08:49 08:35 3.00
1.00 34:41 08:56 08:56 08:40 4.00
1.00 43:20 08:39 08:39 08:40 5.00
1.00 52:08 08:48 08:48 08:41 6.00
1.00 00:41 08:33 08:33 08:40 7.00
0.70 06:20 05:39 08:04 08:37 7.70

Honey Badger Doesn't Give A Shit

Honey Badger is pretty badass. And he also has swag.


Hat tip Historiann.

A little nugget of truth

"When I returned from Afghanistan this past spring, a civilian friend asked, “Is it good to be back?” It was the first time someone had asked, and I answered honestly. But I won’t do that again. We weren’t ready for that conversation. Instead, when people ask, I make it easy for everyone by responding, “It’s fine.” That’s a lie, though. It’s not fine."

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/11/08/on-war-and-redemption/

I had a lot of not-so-latent rage when I came back to the United States, even though I had not personally seen any close combat. One of the things (but not the only thing) that made me so crotchety was the realization that real people, including two people I knew, got killed executing the plans I wrote.

Two and a half years after the fact, I acknowledge that I did not kill them myself, and that sometimes the enemy gets their vote in too. I still felt guilty.

It was a few years later that one of my instructors in a military course told me he knew colonels who did not compete for tactical brigade command because of the belief they were responsible for the deaths of the soldiers in their previous commands at battalion level. I understood those colonels' perspectives.

Home is a very tenuous concept. I didn't (and for the most part still don't) want to talk to a lot of people after I came back.

6.0mi, 54:02, 11 NOV 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
R.E.M., "Driver 8"
The XX, "Intro"
The JudyBats, "Our Story"
The JudyBats, "Ugly on the Outside"

WX at 0900: 46.0 (7.8) DP 34.0 (1.1) BP 29.84 (1010) SW 15 RH 62

Odometer 11B: 166.3mi

Z3. Average/max heart rate = 158/177

Started quicker than I should have, then turned it into an easier run. Today was just not the day for a killer run.

Not sure where the assault of southern power-pop came from this morning...although I carted out all my old Judybats disks and started EACing them at 256Kbps VBR. I had ripped the albums earlier at 128k and the difference is...noticeable.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:48 08:48 08:48 08:48 1.00
1.00 17:25 08:37 08:37 08:43 2.00
1.00 26:51 09:26 09:26 08:57 3.00
1.00 36:10 09:19 09:19 09:02 4.00
1.00 45:01 08:51 08:51 09:00 5.00
1.00 54:02 09:01 09:01 09:00 6.00

4.6mi, 44:57, 10 NOV 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink: MewithoutYou, "January 1979"

WX at 0800: 32.0 (0.0)     DP 23.0 (-5.0)     BP 30.3 (1026)     W 8  RH 69 WC 25 (-4)

Odometer 11B: 160.3mi

Z3.  Average/max heart rate = 147/163

Easy run after yesterday.  My legs were pretty beat.

Splits
SGMT    AGGRG    SEGMT    PERMI    AVGPC    DIST
1.00    09:23    09:23    09:23    09:23    1.00
1.00    19:34    10:11    10:11    09:47    2.00
1.00    29:09    09:35    09:35    09:43    3.00
1.00    39:11    10:02    10:02    09:48    4.00
0.60    44:57    05:46    09:37    09:46    4.60

5.96mi, 51:00, 9 NOV 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink: The XX, "Intro"

WX at 0900: 39.9 (4.4)     DP 33.1 (0.6)     BP 30.19 (1022)     NW 12  RH 76

Odometer 11B:  155.7mi

Z4.  Average/max heart rate = 163/184

Today went hard but relatively fast.  Still continuing to experiment with forefoot striking and it seems to be working for me, although I have to pay more attention to form than I normally would.  The other factor at hand might be the weather too.

Splits
SGMT    AGGRG    SEGMT    PERMI    AVGPC    DIST
1.00    08:24    08:24    08:24    08:24    1.00
1.00    16:29    08:05    08:05    08:15    2.00
1.00    25:08    08:39    08:39    08:23    3.00
1.00    34:03    08:55    08:55    08:31    4.00
1.00    42:35    08:32    08:32    08:31    5.00
0.96    51:00    08:25    08:46    08:33    5.96

Rendering honors

Most motivational thing I've seen in a long, long time.

6,000m on Concept2 Model D, 26:29.3, 8 NOV 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink: The XX, "Intro"

WX at 0900:     45.0 (7.2)     DP 44.1 (6.7)     BP 29.96 (1014)     NE 13     mist RH 96

Odometer 11A: 430.0mi equivalency

Z4.  Average/max heart rate = no reading.

It is cold, and wet, and I am not living up to my rhetoric because it's raining outside and I am being a wimp.

Therefore, I got on the Concept2 this morning and cranked away to make sure I got something in.  I'm not as fit as I used to be.  Got it.  I also haven't been on the Concept2 in a long while, and until the dissertation is done, physical exercise has been sort of backburnered.

Splits
Distance:    6000
Time:    00:26:29
Avg/500m:    02:12
Drag Factor:    108
Per Mile:    00:07:06

4.93mi, 43:22, 7 NOV 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
Deep Forest With Peter Gabriel, "While The Earth Sleeps(Junior Vasquez Mix)‬‏"
Daft Punk, "End of Line"

WX at 0700: 44.1 (6.7)     DP 34.0 (1.1)     BP 30.13 (1020)     NE 9  RH 67

Odometer 11B: 149.7mi

Z3.  Average/max heart rate = 153/182

I guess I'm glad I went for a run this morning.  It's supposed to rain later today and today so far has been a blissful fucking day, like this weekend.

Today was a day of experimenting with stride based on what I read in the New York Times this weekend.

There were benefits to doing this, but it sure felt different.  My legs were also a bit tired from Saturday's trail run.

Splits
SGMT    AGGRG    SEGMT    PERMI    AVGPC    DIST
1.00    08:55    08:55    08:55    08:55    1.00
1.00    17:17    08:22    08:22    08:39    2.00
1.00    26:13    08:56    08:56    08:44    3.00
1.00    35:13    09:00    09:00    08:48    4.00
0.93    43:22    08:09    08:46    08:48    4.93

3.8mi, 45:34, 5 NOV 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink: John Williams, "The Imperial March"  (no shit.)

WX at 1100:     48.0 (8.9)     DP 43.0 (6.1)     BP 30.02 (1016)     S 17  RH 83

Odometer 11B: 144.8mi

Z3-Z4.  Average/max heart rate = 152/178

I found a trail network not far from where I live.  Most of it is traveled by horses and bears the pockmarked ground characteristic of horseshoes (which makes it sometimes treacherous trail running) but it was something different.

I was intent on going out wogging today, but started too late and was dressed to warmly for the weather or the activity.  This is what happens when I start too late and then I'm waiting for the kids to finish getting their stuff together to go out.

No splits.

3.26mi, 28:19, 4 NOV 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink: Kasey Chambers, "Not Pretty Enough" (thank you, Axis of Awesome.)

WX at 0700:     30.0 (-1.1)     DP 28.0 (-2.2)     BP 30.27 (1025)     Calm  RH 92

Odometer 11B: 141.0mi

Z3 high.  Average/max heart rate = 152/174

Today should've been a recovery run but was run far too hard to be one.  Oops.  I was in a rush.  Weather was just about perfect, though.

I am one of the most non-country people in the universe, so I find it really bizarre that I would have a country song stuck in my head.  Sometimes you win one, sometimes you lose one.


Splits
SGMT    AGGRG    SEGMT    PERMI    AVGPC    DIST
1.00    08:42    08:42    08:42    08:42    1.00
1.00    17:22    08:40    08:40    08:41    2.00
1.00    26:05    08:43    08:43    08:42    3.00
0.26    28:19    02:14    08:35    08:41    3.26

Walt Disney's Sin City

Oh. Hell. Yeah.

7.0mi, 61:05, 3 NOV 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
The Bats, "Flowers and Trees"
Above and Beyond feat. Oceanlab, "On A Good Day" (Daniel Kandi remix)

WX at 0900: 37.9 (3.3)     DP 30.9 (-0.6)     BP 30.16 (1021)     NNW 17  RH 76

Odometer 11B: 137.8mi

Z4.  Average/max heart rate = 164/177

Long run, but that was partly because of not running yesterday.  The weather was cold too, but better than yesterday's overcast.  It is cold again.  Sort of.

I was reminded, when I was half my age, that this was this weekend that the Virginia Private School cross-country meet happens to be.  I remembered it only because I had to make a choice between auditioning the following week for the central regional orchestra or running with the team in the league meet.  I ran with the team since I was the team captain at the time and it would've been disingenuous to not run.

I am much slower now.  The uphills were not fun, especially in a headwind.

Splits
SGMT    AGGRG    SEGMT    PERMI    AVGPC    DIST
1.00    08:21    08:21    08:21    08:21    1.00
1.00    17:25    09:04    09:04    08:43    2.00
1.00    25:53    08:28    08:28    08:38    3.00
1.00    34:41    08:48    08:48    08:40    4.00
1.00    43:22    08:41    08:41    08:40    5.00
1.00    52:07    08:45    08:45    08:41    6.00
1.00    01:05    08:58    08:58    08:44    7.00

A pleasure so guilty

I laughed uncontrollably when I heard this song.  Also worth the listen is "Four Chords."

I'm sure there were people who looked askance at me when I was in high school cranking Corrosion of Conformity really loud out of my car too.  Just not as funny as this.

4.6mi, 40:36, 1 NOV 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink: Maritime, "Pearl"

WX at 0800:     55.9 (13.3)     DP 43.0 (6.1)     BP 29.96 (1014)     S 18  RH 61

Odometer 11B: 130.8mi

Z3-Z4.  Average/max heart rate = 142/174

What a great day for a run.  And I almost slept in.  Once the house was cleared out I could run at my own leisure, although I prefer not to do that because it sucks time away from research and writing.

I felt so-so at the start but surprisingly good for my last two miles.  Not sure why, although I'm sure the weather had a lot to do with it.

Splits
SGMT    AGGRG    SEGMT    PERMI    AVGPC    DIST
1.00    09:00    09:00    09:00    09:00    1.00
1.00    17:55    08:55    08:55    08:58    2.00
1.00    26:54    08:59    08:59    08:58    3.00
1.00    35:31    08:37    08:37    08:53    4.00
0.60    40:36    05:05    08:28    08:50    4.60

5.0mi, 43:22, 31 OCT 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink: The Bats, "Flowers and Trees"

WX at 0700:     37.9 (3.3)     DP 24.1 (-4.4)     BP 30.1 (1019)     Calm  RH 56

Odometer 11B: 126.2mi

Z3.  Average/max heart rate = 154/169

Wasn't sure how to start today but I almost slept in.  Once I got out there, it was better, although I have a substantial amount of lard to burn off from the last few weeks.

My only explanation of faster splits than the norm is the temperature.

Splits
SGMT    AGGRG    SEGMT    PERMI    AVGPC    DIST
1.00    08:42    08:42    08:42    08:42    1.00
1.00    17:03    08:21    08:21    08:31    2.00
1.00    25:46    08:43    08:43    08:35    3.00
1.00    34:37    08:51    08:51    08:39    4.00
1.00    43:22    08:45    08:45    08:40    5.00

The Coolest Thing Ever

Bobby McFerrin and the pentatonic scale.  Woot.

Glorious

That's what I'm talking about!!!
Hat tip SMBC.

4.03mi, 35:48, 26 OCT 11, Carlisle, Pennsylvania

iThink: Maritime, "Tearing Up The Oxygen"

WX at 0700:     46.0 (7.8)     DP 41.0 (5.0)     BP 29.91 (1012)     Calm  RH 82

Odometer 11B: 121.2mi

Z3 first three miles, Z4 finish.  Average/max heart rate = 150/169

I didn't much feel like going out, and my legs were tired.  I guess that's to be expected after yesterday's long run.  However, after seeing that I was close to 9:00/mi I went hard to finish inside 36 minutes, which I did - but did so by progressively speeding up the last mile and going very, very hard to finish.

This might be the last one for the week as I have research needs and I get an extra hour in tomorrow.  Woot.

Splits
SGMT    AGGRG    SEGMT    PERMI    AVGPC    DIST
1.00    09:13    09:13    09:13    09:13    1.00
1.00    18:43    09:30    09:30    09:21    2.00
1.00    27:32    08:49    08:49    09:11    3.00
1.03    35:48    08:16    08:02    08:57    4.00

6.65mi, 60:22, 25 OCT 11, Carlisle, Pennsylvania

iThink: Deep Forest With Peter Gabriel, "While The Earth Sleeps"

WX at 0700:     43.0 (6.1)     DP 39.0 (3.9)     BP 30.11 (1019)     NW 7  RH 85

Odometer 11B: 117.2mi

Z3.  Average/max heart rate = 149/168

I didn't feel up to going very fast or hard, but this morning's course (same as Saturday's) ends on a very long gentle downhill, which is perfect for a closing boost.

My legs were tired, but I needed to go for a long run after yesterday, which marked three fast food meals in a row.  That is not good.

I didn't feel so motivated as to buttonhook today's run so I could get the magic 6.66mi run I wanted.  Ha.

Splits
SGMT    AGGRG    SEGMT    PERMI    AVGPC    DIST
1.00    09:07    09:07    09:07    09:07    1.00
1.00    18:28    09:21    09:21    09:14    2.00
1.00    27:46    09:18    09:18    09:15    3.00
1.00    36:52    09:06    09:06    09:13    4.00
1.00    46:14    09:22    09:22    09:15    5.00
1.00    55:00    08:46    08:46    09:10    6.00
0.65    00:22    05:22    08:15    09:05    6.65

4.0mi, 35:25, 24 OCT 11, Carlisle, Pennsylvania

iThink: Peter Gabriel, "Red Rain"

WX at 0800: 46.9 (8.3)     DP 45.0 (7.2)     BP 30.08 (1018)     Calm     mist RH 92

Odometer 11B: 110.6mi

Z3.  Average/max heart rate = 144/170

The HRM readings seem surprisingly low, although this was an out-and-back.  The generally negative splits were partly due to warmup and partly due to generally uphill going out, generally downhill going back.

Trying to recover from a particularly sybaritic day and a half in Baltimore this past weekend.  Egad.

Splits
SGMT    AGGRG    SEGMT    PERMI    AVGPC    DIST
1.00    08:51    08:51    08:51    08:51    1.00
1.00    18:10    09:19    09:19    09:05    2.00
1.00    26:59    08:49    08:49    09:00    3.00
1.00    35:25    08:26    08:26    08:51    4.00

6.63mi, 59:18, 22 OCT 11, Carlisle, Pennsylvania

iThink:
Mason Daring, "Spider (main theme)"
Archers of Loaf, "Backwash"

WX at 0800:     42.1 (5.6)     DP 39.9 (4.4)     BP 30.11 (1019)     Calm  RH 91

Odometer 11B: 107.6mi

Z3.  Average/max heart rate = 144/168

This morning was a rough start, and didn't feel too good.  The breakaway point happened around 42 minutes in, which is later than usual.  My legs were a little tired from yesterday, but I needed to get this one in, especially since the weather was so perfect for a long run.

The last two splits are an indicator of how much I sped up after the 42-minute mark.  By the end I actually felt pretty good.

It is kind of sad that I think of 6.6mi as a long run, though.

Splits
SGMT    AGGRG    SEGMT    PERMI    AVGPC    DIST
1.00    08:58    08:58    08:58    08:58    1.00
1.00    18:08    09:10    09:10    09:04    2.00
1.00    27:24    09:16    09:16    09:08    3.00
1.00    36:26    09:02    09:02    09:07    4.00
1.00    45:33    09:07    09:07    09:07    5.00
1.00    53:59    08:26    08:26    09:00    6.00
0.63    59:18    05:19    08:26    08:57    6.63

4.0mi, 36:08, 21 OCT 11, Carlisle, Pennsylvania

iThink: MxPx, "I Will Follow"

WX at 0700:     48.9 (9.4)     DP 39.9 (4.4)     BP 29.87 (1011)     WSW 13  RH 70

Odometer 11B: 101.0mi

Z3.  Average/max heart rate = 150/163

I was still feeling that 8.6mi run at Quantico a few days ago.  I didn't do anything yesterday, but my legs are still tired.  Got it.

I'm not that keen on running on country roads with no shoulder, though.  I did get yelled at this morning by some yahoo who thought it might be funny to see if some guy jumps or not.  I didn't, since I tend to be somewhat resistant to jumpiness when dumb assholes do that.  Fucktard.

Time for a full bore day of research at the Army Heritage Education Center.  I have a lot to do in the next few days of research.

Splits
SGMT    AGGRG    SEGMT    PERMI    AVGPC    DIST
1.00    08:58    08:58    08:58    08:58    1.00
1.00    18:22    09:24    09:24    09:11    2.00
1.00    27:16    08:54    08:54    09:05    3.00
1.00    36:07    08:51    08:51    09:02    4.00

45min on elliptical trainer, 19 OCT 11, Arlington, VA

iThink: none. Was watching Firefly on the Science Channel on the elliptical.

WX at 2200: 68 (20) DP 66 (19) BP 29.27 (991) S 6 light drizzle; mist RH 93

Odometer 11B: 97.0mi equivalency

Z3. Average/max heart rate = no reading, but averaging about 155.

It was late, but I didn't work out this morning and I doubt I'll get much in tomorrow, so I got some elliptical time in and some lifting.

I was there with my dad, who lives a pretty sedentary lifestyle. He was not keen on my doing clean and jerks with a relatively light weight (olympic bar with 50 pounds added). He was afraid I would injure myself. He is paranoid.

I revisit this regularly, but my parents are not like me. I realized they are sheep. Not in a bad way, but they are sheep. They fundamentally do not understand why I am so uncompromising on standards. They do not empathize why I used to meatgrind my students, because I refused in good conscience to allow shitbags to graduate without meeting my standards. My mother has a particularly hard time with this, because she wants me to just be nice and get along.

I don't want to just get along, because there are 187 dead Americans, Czechs, French, Latvians, and Poles who deserved better than that during my combat tour. So fuck that getting along shit.

I realized that I don't want to go back to military academia. I didn't have the luxury of firing shitbags in school because they're shitbags. I did have the luxury of making their life a living hell so they would get some skills or professionalism.

Standards are great. Everyone should have some.

No splits.

8.66mi, 78:47, 18 OCT 11, Marine Corps Base Quantico, Virginia

iThink:
Maritime, "Pearl"
Velocity Girl, "Labrador"

WX at 2100:     68.0 (20.0)     DP 59.0 (15.0)     BP 29.79 (1008)     ENE 3  RH 72

Odometer 11B: 95.4mi equivalency

Z4.  Average/max heart rate = 164/182

I guess I should've Gmap-pedometered today's run before I started.  Then I would've figured on a different route since I didn't start with the intent of running 8.66mi tonight.  It didn't look that long on the map at first glance.  Oops.

I needed a long run, but I didn't think it was going to be that long!  I felt surprisingly good during the run.  Tomorrow I might change my tune.

Still, it felt pretty satisfying to get in a long run like that.  It's been a long, long while since I've done that.  I also needed to do something as I slept in this morning and didn't do anything yesterday.


Splits
SGMT    AGGRG    SEGMT    PERMI    AVGPC    DIST
1.00    08:27    08:27    08:27    08:27    1.00
1.00    17:49    09:22    09:22    08:54    2.00
1.00    26:53    09:04    09:04    08:58    3.00
1.00    35:36    08:43    08:43    08:54    4.00
1.00    44:32    08:56    08:56    08:54    5.00
1.00    53:37    09:05    09:05    08:56    6.00
1.00    62:44    09:07    09:07    08:58    7.00
1.00    72:00    09:16    09:16    09:00    8.00
0.66    78:47    06:47    10:17    09:06    8.66

Those who do not study history

Hooah

"The steaks are fine, that's all that matters."   AWESOME!

6.13mi, 62:01, 16 OCT 11, Marine Corps Base Quantico, Virginia

iThink: Maritime, "Pearl"

WX at 1000: 62.1 (16.7)     DP 41.0 (5.0)     BP 30.04 (1017)     Calm  RH 46

Odometer 11B: 85.4mi

Z3-Z5.  Average/max heart rate = 158/184

Trail running is one of the highlights of any visit I make to Quantico because the trail network is amazing.  It's available for horses, mountain bikes, and runners, and while I soaked up a fair amount of mud today, it was not bad going at all.  I did do some walking going on the uphills (which were massively steep going both directions).  Once I was off the power lines portion of the trails it was much more reasonable.

I got in some road work as well but the reason I was running was to hit the trails.

The hills at Quantico are officially no joke.  I would really enjoy running these trails on a regular basis but know I would get gainfully worked out every time.

Splits
SGMT    AGGRG    SEGMT    PERMI    AVGPC    DIST
6.13    62:01    62:01    10:07    10:07    6.13

4.45mi, 39:32, 15 OCT 11, Marine Corps Base Quantico, Virginia

iThink:
Maritime, "It's Casual"
Maritime, "Tearing Up The Oxygen"

WX at 0700:     55.0 (12.8)     DP 41.0 (5.0)     BP 29.77 (1008)     WSW 10 RH 59

Odometer 11B: 79.3mi

Z3 high.  Average/max heart rate = 151/184

Quantico is pretty hilly, even on the roads.  Running on a Saturday before sunrise is dark indeed.

I was meaning to run yesterday but I drank too much coffee the night before and didn't sleep well, so I figured discretion was the better part of valor.  Last night was better.

I was hoping for better speed, but no such luck.  At least the weather was nice.  I was doing this partly to clear my head as the administrative details of my trip east have been very, very painful.

Tomorrow I will run trails as I don't intend to start until after sunrise, which tomorrow, will be about 7:20.  Means I need to be out there by 6:45 and it should be light enough.

Splits
SGMT    AGGRG    SEGMT    PERMI    AVGPC    DIST
1.00    08:50    08:50    08:50    08:50    1.00
1.00    17:40    08:50    08:50    08:50    2.00
1.00    26:37    08:57    08:57    08:52    3.00
1.00    35:28    08:51    08:51    08:52    4.00
0.45    39:32    04:04    09:02    08:53    4.45

Record APFT, 283 points, 11 OCT 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink: MxPx, "I Will Follow"

WX at 0700: 55.0 (12.8)    DP 54.0 (12.2)    BP 29.97 (1014)    SW 5    mist RH 96

Odometer 11B: 74.8mi

Z4.  Average/max heart rate = no reading.

Same story as the last.  200 points and a slow-ass run.  This was slower than before, although I keep forgetting that I didn't run as fast as I thought I did the last time.

I desperately searched for a good iThink to punctuate the run, and I think this was a good one.  Unlike the run.

I realize that exercise is not an end in itself, like it is for many CrossFitters and others of the same ilk, but something I do because it feeds the beast for something else.  I could do speedwork to get faster, but I don't care enough to do it.  Meh.

Oh, and seven (six, and one just because) pull-ups after all was done, just out of force of habit.  Those pull-ups went kind of slow.

Splits
Pushups: 77
Situps: 77
Two-Mile Run: 15:37

SGMT    AGGRG    SEGMT    PERMI    AVGPC    DIST
1.00    07:40    07:40    07:40    07:40    1.00
1.00    15:37    07:57    07:57    07:48    2.00

Oh hell yeah

This almost makes me want to learn how to knit so I can make this.  In my size, however.

Another leitmotif of my childhood

I was trying to get momentum on the beginning of chapter 3 of the dissertation, but my ire at my desk chair (which is broken) has reached a point where I was going to explode.

Although my default profanity probably shouldn't default to JESUSTITTYFUCKINGCHRIST and MOTHERFUCKER as much as it does, holy shit was I going to fucking kill someone.

Then I dusted off this song from the archives of my teenage years.  GODDAMN did I listen to this a lot.  Might explain a lot about my temperament, perhaps.  Fuck it all.

The dissertation war continues.

3.9mi, 39:28, 9 OCT 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
Hooverphonic, "The World Is Mine"
MxPx, "I Will Follow"

WX at 0900:     68.0 (20.0)     DP 55.0 (12.8)     BP 30.17 (1021)     SSE 14  RH 63

Odometer 11B: 72.1mi

Z2.  Average/max heart rate = 143/159

Today was a day of easy running since I take a PT test in two days.  My legs were pretty beat after going to the Red Barn Farm and going through the corn maze not expecting to do a corn maze.

Yes, I was watching Mile High last night, as guilty a TV pleasure as I will ever have.  The British exchange officer in my small group at the School of Advanced Military Heresy said "Mile High is pure rubbish."  I told him, "yes, but that doesn't stop me from watching it."

Splits
SGMT    AGGRG    SEGMT    PERMI    AVGPC    DIST
1.00    10:07    10:07    10:07    10:07    1.00
1.00    19:56    09:49    09:49    09:58    2.00
1.00    30:30    10:34    10:34    10:10    3.00
0.90    39:28    08:58    09:58    10:07    3.90

4.6mi, 43:18, 7 OCT 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
R.E.M., "Driver 8"
R.E.M., "Gardening at Night"

WX at 0900:     71.1 (21.7)     DP 52.0 (11.1)     BP 30.07 (1018)     S 22  RH 50

Odometer 11A: 425.1mi

Z3 low.  Average/max heart rate = 151/165

It is time to retire these shoes.  My knees hurt kind of bad after running in them, and I didn't go very hard.  That's unfortunate, if only because the Asics GT-2160s really are a great shoe.

Tired, but I need to run.  So I run.  Or else I will get fat.  I was also thinking through plan of attack for the remainder of the dissertation after the realization of my last post, since the archives are a major source material for the two most important chapters in the whole damn dissertation.

Splits
SGMT    AGGRG    SEGMT    PERMI    AVGPC    DIST
1.00    09:32    09:32    09:32    09:32    1.00
1.00    18:56    09:24    09:24    09:28    2.00
1.00    28:32    09:36    09:36    09:31    3.00
1.00    37:44    09:12    09:12    09:26    4.00
0.59    43:18    05:34    09:26    09:26    4.59

Frak

The Combined Arms Research Library is undergoing renovation.

I was planning on reading through the archives of Field Manual 100-5 working notes for the dissertation.

The records that were pulled mostly date from the 1997 period and beyond.  There are some materials there, but not the ones I need right now.  The rest are in storage.  They won't see the light of day until at least January, maybe even March.

To add insult to injury, I'll need to do a Freedom of Information Act to get some of it as well.

FUCK FRAGGLE FUCK SHIT MOTHER ASSMOUNTAIN.

5.4mi, 48:08, 6 OCT 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink: Burns Out Bright, "Optimistic Nihilistic"

WX at 0800: 60.1 (15.6)     DP 46.0 (7.8)     BP 30.07 (1018)     SSE 14 RH 59

Odometer 11B: 68.2mi

Z4.  Average/max heart rate = 155/172

Different course, involving more uphills.  Those hurt more.  I didn't do anything except pushups and situps yesterday because of that damn chapter, which is done.

Splits
SGMT    AGGRG    SEGMT    PERMI    AVGPC    DIST
1.00    09:08    09:08    09:08    09:08    1.00
1.00    18:58    09:50    09:50    09:29    2.00
1.00    27:34    08:36    08:36    09:11    3.00
1.00    36:13    08:39    08:39    09:03    4.00
1.00    44:45    08:32    08:32    08:57    5.00
0.40    48:08    03:23    08:27    08:55    5.40

Now I lay me down to sleep...

But GODDAMN is this dead on.

Aaaaghh!

That title is so I don't title a blog post "FUCK FRAGGLE FUCK SHIT MOTHER ASSMOUNTAIN."

Working on chapter 2 of the dissertation.  I find a series of interviews from major figures during the historical period I'm covering.  That turns out to be about 300 pages of shit I can't ignore.  Now I have to rewrite substantial parts of my chapter.

FUCK FRAGGLE FUCK SHIT MOTHER ASSMOUNTAIN.

Either that, or JESUS TITTY FUCKING CHRIST.

Tonight'll be a late night.

4.6mi, 38:59, 4 OCT 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
Above and Beyond feat. Oceanlab, "On A Good Day"
Michael Kamen, "Band of Brothers Suite No. 2"

WX at 0800: 55.9 (13.3)     DP 46.9 (8.3)     BP 30.21 (1023)     S 9 RH 71

Odometer 11A: 420.5mi

Z4.  Average/max heart rate = 156/177

Yesterday was a day off since I had to be in Lawrence for some school-related responsibilities.  I slept about 6 hours last night.  I need to level that back up to 7 so I don't feel so crap in the mornings.

Today was hard, but didn't start intending to go that way.  I'll call this one a tempo run.  Oh, and 100 pushups, 100 situps.

Splits
SGMT    AGGRG    SEGMT    PERMI    AVGPC    DIST
1.00    08:22    08:22    08:22    08:22    1.00
1.00    17:08    08:46    08:46    08:34    2.00
1.00    25:27    08:19    08:19    08:29    3.00
1.00    33:59    08:32    08:32    08:30    4.00
0.59    38:59    05:00    08:28    08:30    4.59

7.7mi, 67:14, 2 OCT 11, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
The Bats, "Holiday"
Mary Chapin Carpenter, "Passionate Kisses"
The Connells, "Fun & Games"
The Bats, "Flowers and Trees"

WX at 0900: 53.1 (11.7)     DP 42.1 (5.6)     BP 30.29 (1025)     SSE 7  RH 66

Odometer 11B: 62.8mi

Z4.  Average/max heart rate = 157/176

Today was a day of going hard, although it felt middling at first.  I felt much better going uphill, although part of it was experimenting with gait and stride.  I felt surprisingly better today than otherwise, but the weather doesn't get much better than it did today.  I've also slept 8 hours a night the last two days, so I'm sure that helped too.

Beyond the 3 mile mark, all times were faster than benchmark.  I guess that was encouraging.

I have not thought about that Mary Chapin Carpenter song in years.

100 pushups, 100 situps before starting.

Splits
SGMT    AGGRG    SEGMT    PERMI    AVGPC    DIST
1.00    08:48    08:48    08:48    08:48    1.00
1.00    17:51    09:03    09:03    08:56    2.00
1.00    26:31    08:40    08:40    08:50    3.00
1.00    35:31    09:00    09:00    08:53    4.00
1.00    44:12    08:41    08:41    08:50    5.00
1.00    52:47    08:35    08:35    08:48    6.00
1.00    61:15    08:28    08:28    08:45    7.00
0.69    67:14    05:59    08:40    08:45    7.69