Reflections on a Monday morning

Something I desperately wanted to say as I was leaving the last job:

And this.

Sometimes A Great Notion

"Did I ever tell you about my summers with my uncle when I was a kid? Foxes would attack his henhouse all the time. Really pissed him off. He'd wake me up. We'd go with his hounds at night up into the hills looking for the fox. When the dogs smelled the scent, they'd go crazy. The pack would become a team. Force the fox...toward the river."

"So what would the foxes do? 

"Half would turn and fight. The other half would try to swim across. But my uncle told me about a few that...they'd swim halfway out, turn with the current, and ride it all the way out to sea. Fishermen would find them a mile offshore. Just swimming."

"Because they wanted to drown."

"Maybe.  Or maybe they were just...tired."

"Well, Godsdamn it, Bill. We can't swim out to sea. I am the XO of this ship, you are the Commanding Officer. How is putting a bullet in your head gonna help Dee? It sure as frak isn't gonna help all the others who are thinking about doing the same Godsdamned thing. And what are they gonna do without the old man here to lead them?"

"Lead them where, Saul?"

10,000m on Concept2 Model D, 47:23.6, 15 JAN 18, Springfield, Virginia

iThink: none.

WX at Noon (17) Jan 15     27.7 (-2.4)     14.0 (-10.0)     30.57 (1035)     NW 3 RH

Odometer 14B: 411.0mi

Z3.  Average/max heart rate = 135/154

Easy erg to burn lard as I didn't feel like running outside.  Continuing to watch The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, although I don't see myself continuing beyond the first season because of the plot twists and characters.  Just not my kind of show.  I'll finish it, but I just don't go for comedies.

Splits
Distance:    10000
Time:    47:23.6
Avg/500m:    02:22.2
Drag Factor:    110
Per Mile:    00:07:38

15,000m on Concept2 Model D, 72:36.2, 13 JAN 18, Springfield, Virginia

iThink: none.

WX at Noon (17) Jan 13     33.3 (0.7)     17.1 (-8.3)     30.06 (1017)     NW 17G24 WC 23(-5)

Odometer 14B: 411.0mi

Z3.  Average/max heart rate = 139/153

I was bingewatching parts of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, which I admit to watching only because of Rachel Brosnahan.  Some of the elements of comedy in the show fall flat for me, but for some reason I keep watching. I find people with major personality quirks more tedious than anything else. Sorry.  I'm not representative of the standard viewing demographic.

The narrative parts of the main character trying to sort out her life after her husband leaves her is interesting, though.

Splits
Distance:    15000
Time:    1:12:36.2
Avg/500m:    02:25.2
Drag Factor:    109
Per Mile:    00:07:47

5.0mi, 48:03, 21 OCT 17, Springfield, Virginia

iThink:
The Wombats, "Give Me A Try"

WX at 9 AM (13) Oct 21 50.7 (10.4) 49.1 (9.5) 30.35 (1027) Calm RH 94

Odometer 17B: 126.1mi

Z3. Average/max heart rate = no reading.

Not slow but not fast. I had to get out because I was starting to feel like a fat piece of shit and that is my usual signal to get back at it.

I was physically wrecked almost all week after my PT test.  I have never felt so destroyed, ever.

The Wombats song I attribute to a recruiting short film on YouTube for the St Andrews University Women's Shinty club (that I found after reading some story on the BBC News site about rural Scotland). As in the St Andrews University in Scotland. The utterly weird things I find on the Internet never cease to boggle the mind. Also, I had attended a briefing that St Andrews gave when I was in 10th grade and I seriously thought about it for a short while. I gave it up when I realized I couldn't be in a precomissioning program for the US military in a non-US university and it never occurred to me to go to OCS instead.

Splits

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.20 11:31 11:31 09:36 09:36 1.20
1.30 24:17 12:46 09:49 09:43 2.50
1.29 37:10 12:53 09:59 09:48 3.79
1.21 48:03 10:53 09:00 09:37 5.00

11,000m on Concept2 Model D, 52:07, 14 JAN 17, Springfield, Virginia

iThink:
A Day to Remember, "All I Want"

WX at      Midnight (5) Jan 14     42 (6)     21 (-6)     30.67 (1038)     Calm     light rain RH 41

Odometer 14B: 410.2mi

Z3.  Average/max heart rate = 138/152

I almost got called back into work tonight.  I dodged that bullet, and to celebrate the end of a somewhat unenjoyable work week, I celebrated with a 750 of Lindeman's Framboise Lambic.  That bottle was YEARS old and the lambic was still pretty goddamn awesome.

The bloating and gas that ensued during my easy erg was not so goddamn awesome.

First 1km was a stop to take a short bathroom break. Then I reset it for 10km and got at it in a less pickup-ish way.

Splits
Distance:    10000
Time:    47:19.2
Avg/500m:    02:22.0
Drag Factor:    116
Per Mile:    00:07:37

Homecoming

Home is supposed to be the place you strive for. You work and dream to survive to see it again to enjoy all of its comforts.  But when you can't enjoy the things you should, you enter an especially sad place.  No joy can come to you for reasons you don't know.

I wasn't in this state necessarily because "bad things occurred" overseas, although they did.  I was sad and lonely because I felt empty.  Something was missing.  Fun, danger, excitement, purpose, drive, friends, explosions, intrigue, exotic lands.  All were gone.  I had a great time in Iraq and I missed it.  Wake and mow the lawn?  Why?  Fuck the lawn.

I never really came home.

Robert Shaw, "Homecoming," in Justin Hudnall, Julia Dixon Evans, and Rolf Yngve, eds., Incoming

3.4mi, 35:22, 7 SEP 16

iThink:
Ariana Grande feat. Zedd, "Break Free"

WX at 4 PM (20) Sep 07 91 (33) 50 (10) 29.65 (1004) WNW 10 widespread dust RH 24

Odometer 15C: 245.1mi

Z3. Average/max heart rate = 144/158

My last run here, hopefully forever. No regrets, but I don't want to return. Fittingly enough, it was widespread dust as I was running - with luck I don't regret it later. Time to pack. At least the breeze made for a tolerable run in spite of the temperature.

Today's iThink has been on more or less infinite repeat the last two days at the desk as I was closing out tasks. Could be worse, I guess.

Splits

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 10:21 10:21 10:21 10:21 1.00
1.00 21:01 10:40 10:40 10:30 2.00
1.00 31:35 10:34 10:34 10:32 3.00
0.40 35:22 03:48 09:29 10:24 3.40

4.23mi, 40:55.8, 30 AUG 16

iThink:
Courage My Love, "Do As You're Told"

WX at 5 PM (21) Aug 30 96 (36) 44 (7) 29.62 (1003) NW 9 RH 16

Odometer 15C: 222.9mi

Z3. Average/max heart rate = 149/158

Not fast, but not quite recovery. I wasn't intent on going very hard, but didn't want to make it purely wogging either. I was intent on hitting one of my milestones, so I decided to go for 666 calories on the counter. I certainly wasn't in the mood to go 6.66mi, let alone 6.9mi. So I did.

There wouldn't have been an iThink normally since I was watching Jiro Dreams of Sushi on a tablet as I was running.  I'd wanted to watch it, but never got around to it until now, really.

Splits

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
4.23 40:56 40:56 09:41 09:41 4.23

The Most Versatile Word in the English Language

ABSOLUTELY not safe for kids.  From The Wire.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtHetIaWZNc

Jesus titty fucking christ

GODDAMN does two and a half fingers of Jeremiah Weed go down hard...

8.16mi, time indeterminate, 15 FEB 15, Bagram, Afghanistan

iThink: none.

WX at 1330: 4 AM (9) Feb 15 55 (13) 23 (-5) 30.03 (1017) N 5 light rain showers

Odometer 14B: 318.6mi

Z3 high/Z4. Average/max heart rate =no reading.

I found myself back at Bagram for the first time in a few months, against my expectations.  Being there,I felt compelled to do what I usually did, which was run the perimeter.  The absence of instrumentation owes to the fact that my Garmin 310XT crapped out a mile after starting up.  Surprisingly, I felt kind of quick, which was unexpected.

Now that the Afghanistan campaign has transitioned to 2015, there are much fewer people at Bagram than when I was there last.  It was inevitable, but it was shocking.  No matter.  The war continues.

No splits.

I'm home.

Last day of the campaign, day 375.

The biggest battles, I suspect, are still to come, much as they were five years ago when I came back from my last deployment.

10,000m on Concept2 Model D, 43:53.0, 3 AUG 14, Camp Arifjan, Kuwait

Today is day 254 of the campaign.

iThink: None.

WX at      5 AM (9) Aug 03     116 (47)     42 (6)     29.47 (0998)     N 20 RH 9

Odometer 14A: 207.8mi given all the walking around I'm doing.

Z4 steady to Z4 high.  Average/max heart rate = 158/170

It is really hard to have a coherent set of iThink when the music in the CrossFit gym here is switching between emo and hip-hop and country.  This is admittedly a First World Problem, but fuck my life, fuck my fucking life.

Seriously though, the first 4,000 was rough.  I think part of it was being tired from yesterday's erg work, and part of it was also just being down here in the oppressive heat.  The CrossFit gym here is reasonably well-equipped, although the only two things for which I was looking were Concept2s and GHD benches, both of which were in plentiful supply.

I started with 3x15 GHD situps before starting the erg.  The ergs here are Concept2 Model Ds, but they only have PM3 computers, which is kind of unusual since they're brand new.  Then again, most of the Crossfitters I know don't care about drag factor or HRM synchronization, and the latter only comes on a PM4.

I started to suck a little but I settled to finishing before 44:00.  For that, the last 1000m was kind of unpleasant.  Not quite zone 5 unpleasant, but still unpleasant.

Today was better than nothing.  Then I went back to the transient quarters, aired my shirt, and it was mostly dry in about 10 minutes after being soaking wet.  My shorts were already dry.

Splits
Distance:    10000
Time:    43:53.0
Avg/500m:    02:11.6
Drag Factor:    120
Per Mile:    00:07:04

Frak. It's. Still. Hot.

Goddamn it's hot as fucking balls.  Even worse in the day.

Frak. It's. Hot.

Goddamn, it's hot as balls. At MIDNIGHT.

7.77mi, 69:06, 12 JUL 14, Kabul, Afghanistan

Today is day 232 of the campaign.

iThink:
Tim Carleton & Darrick Deel, "Opus No. 1" (better known as the Cisco hold music)
The Smiths, "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out" from Complete Soundcheck at Glasgow Barrowlands, 1986

WX at 3 PM (19) Jul 12 80 (27) 24 (-4) 29.91 (1013) NNE 18G30 RH 12

Odometer 14A: 171.8mi

Z3-Z4. Average/max heart rate = 158/169

Today was going to be a long slow run. Emphasis on slow, with a little less emphasis on long. I was thinking about going for another lap, but I decided that discretion was the better part of valor, and I'll save that for a few days from now. This past week has involved two rest days, one I didn't intend to take, and one I recognized that I had to take or bad things would happen.

I have the first iThink to blame from calling someone on a VoIP phone earlier today and being put on hold, and being at a computer while on hold and quick enough to think about Googling the song. And the rest is history.  It also makes a useful running mantra for a run that's deliberately run at zone 3 or so.

Splits

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.11 09:55 09:55 08:56 08:56 1.11
1.11 19:46 09:51 08:52 08:54 2.22
1.11 29:39 09:53 08:54 08:54 3.33
1.11 39:34 09:55 08:56 08:55 4.44
1.11 49:23 09:49 08:51 08:54 5.55
1.11 59:14 09:51 08:52 08:54 6.66
1.11 09:06 09:52 08:53 08:54 7.77

6.66mi, 57:57, 26 JUN 14, Kabul, Afghanistan

Today is day 216 of the campaign.

iThink:
The Connells, "Fun & Games"
Bear McCreary, "Refugees Return"
Bear McCreary, "The Shape of Things to Come"

WX at 2 PM (18) Jun 26 77 (25) 41 (5) 30.00 (1016) NNE 5 RH 27

Odometer 14A: 151.7mi

Z3 start, Z4 stretch, Z3 finish. Average/max heart rate = 156/172 (160-163 average during stretch)

I wasn't sure how I was going to feel today, but I decided to go 3.3 at just at Z4 threshold, and go relatively hard for the next 2.2 after that. I saved the last mile for cooldown to see if I don't feel as beat as I might otherwise.

In an unrelated piece of trivia, and not coincidentally as a proud veteran of the 7th Cavalry Regiment, I did note that today is the organizational day of the 7th Cavalry, albeit on the day the Regiment was mauled at Little Bighorn in 1876.

Splits

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.11 09:57 09:57 08:58 08:58 1.11
1.11 19:57 10:00 09:01 08:59 2.22
1.11 29:46 09:49 08:51 08:56 3.33
1.11 38:51 09:05 08:11 08:45 4.44
1.11 47:01 08:10 07:21 08:28 5.55
1.11 57:57 10:56 09:51 08:42 6.66

Aging

I was looking in the mirror, and realized I have been growing grayer since I got here.  That's something that's been going on a while now, but it has really taken off since I've been working this job.

This job is less stressful than my last combat tour - but it is still stressful as hell.  I will come back noticeably grayer than when I left.

6.2mi, 53:16, 12 MAY 14, Kabul, Afghanistan

Today is day 171 of the campaign.

iThink:
The Smiths, "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out" from Complete Soundcheck at Glasgow Barrowlands, 1986
Katy Perry, "Part of Me"

WX at 2 PM (18) May 12 59 (15) 17 (-8) 29.97 (1015) N 10 RH 19

Odometer 13B: 315.4mi

Z4. Average/max heart rate = 163/175

It had been a few days since I'd run, and I wanted to see how I'd feel. As it turns out, pretty good. I wasn't sure how I was going to do on the first lap, but when I realized I was going about 8:30 for the first, I decided to see how hard I could push it and still maintain overall speed. After that first lap, I did continuous negative splits all the way through the rest of the run. That's pretty motivational.

The second iThink was a direct result of showing two Katy Perry videos to my coworkers. The first was her clip from Sesame Street where she sings "Hot and Cold" to Elmo. Kids might like the song, but guys like the eye candy. The second was the iThink video, or what I sarcastically call the "Katy Perry US Marine Corps Recruitment Video." One of my coworkers, who's a Marine artilleryman in his off-time, quipped "there ain't no chicks in LAR!"

Yeah, but so what?

Splits

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:29 08:29 08:29 08:29 1.00
1.00 17:21 08:52 08:52 08:40 2.00
1.00 26:03 08:42 08:42 08:41 3.00
1.00 34:43 08:40 08:40 08:41 4.00
1.00 43:16 08:33 08:33 08:39 5.00
1.00 51:41 08:25 08:25 08:37 6.00
0.20 53:16 01:35 07:55 08:35 6.20