5.03mi, 50:41, 30 APR 13, Springfield, Virginia

iThink:
The Northern Pikes, "Wait For Me"
Love Spit Love, "Am I Wrong"

WX at 05:55 Calm 3.00 Light Drizzle Fog/Mist SCT004 OVC009 56 55 96% NA NA 30.12 1020.2 0.01

Odometer 12B: 340.9mi

Z2-Z3. Average/max heart rate = 141/155

Finally a proper rest day. It required me to reconsider what I thought was reasonable pace and speed. Today was substantially slower, but for good reason, even after yesterday being a day of no running. I didn't want to go hard after Sunday's long run.

Last Friday I'd gone to the Pamplin Battlefield Park near Petersburg, Virginia. Predictably, one of the books in the gift store was Stephen Crane's The Red Badge of Courage, and as I turned to the back, I saw the quotation "So it came to pass that as he trudged from the place of blood and wrath his soul changed." I remember that mostly from the Space: Above and Beyond episode "Toy Soldiers," but also think about it in terms of my own disillusionment over the last few years.

That's what made this morning's iThink that much more pointed for me. The first one is from a disk I bought sometime in 1996, I think, when I was living in Texas and had a lot of freedom to do whatever I wanted, at the expense of not really having anyone else in my life. The second one, though, was from 1995, when I was dating another Army officer at the time, and the film we went to go see was Angus, whose opening credits featured the song. I remember that partly because I didn't know anything about the film, and found it much more thought-provoking than I had originally thought. The other was because I was 23 at the time, and still hopeful about a great many things. My simmering rage had not taken hold, as it did after I came back to the United States in 2009.

Splits

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 09:59 09:59 09:59 09:59 1.00
1.00 20:29 10:30 10:30 10:15 2.00
1.00 30:03 09:34 09:34 10:01 3.00
1.00 40:01 09:58 09:58 10:00 4.00
1.03 50:41 10:40 10:21 10:05 5.03

11.43mi, 1:45:17, 28 APR 13, Springfield, Virginia

iThink:
MxPx, "I Will Follow"
Theme from Clifford the Big Red Dog

WX at 10:55 SE 12 10.00 A Few Clouds FEW120 66 41 40% NA NA 30.28 1025.4
WX at 09:55 Vrbl 6 10.00 Partly Cloudy SCT130 61 40 46% NA NA 30.28 1025.6

Odometer 12B: 335.9mi

Z3 high-Z4. Average/max heart rate = 153/170

Finally, the chance to do the long run that I'd been meaning to do. What I didn't count on was another runner drafting off me about midway through the run. He said he wanted to pace off me, and I said it was fine - which was a win-win for both. I think he got a harder run than he otherwise would've gotten, and I got to experiment with pace and stride in ways that I thought were pretty productive.

However, I'm sure I'll be paying for it later on.

The theme from Clifford the Big Red Dog was from a brief memory of my earlier married life. Emphasis on earlier. That is all.

Splits

SGMT AGGRGTE SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 0:09:27 09:27 09:27 09:27 1.00
1.00 0:19:14 09:47 09:47 09:37 2.00
1.00 0:28:36 09:22 09:22 09:32 3.00
1.00 0:38:06 09:30 09:30 09:31 4.00
1.00 0:47:09 09:03 09:03 09:26 5.00
1.00 0:55:31 08:22 08:22 09:15 6.00
1.00 1:04:03 08:32 08:32 09:09 7.00
1.00 1:12:28 08:25 08:25 09:03 8.00
1.00 1:21:24 08:56 08:56 09:03 9.00
1.00 1:31:34 10:10 10:10 09:09 10.00
1.00 1:41:21 09:47 09:47 09:13 11.00
0.43 1:45:17 03:56 09:09 09:13 11.43

4.64mi, 43:30, 27 APR 13, Springfield, Virginia

iThink:
Iron Maiden, "Aces High"
Carly Rae Jepsen, "Call Me Maybe"

WX at 09:55 SE 3 10.00 Fair CLR 63 39 42% NA NA 30.42 1030.3

Odometer 12B: 324.4mi

Z3 low. Average/max heart rate = 145/164

Slow recovery run as I spent a large chunk of yesterday walking with the Elder's elementary school class at the Pamplin Civil War Battlefield Park near Petersburg, VA.

Yeah, suck on the musical cognitive dissonance.  I don't care.

Splits

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 09:37 09:37 09:37 09:37 1.00
1.00 19:27 09:50 09:50 09:43 2.00
1.00 28:51 09:24 09:24 09:37 3.00
1.00 37:48 08:57 08:57 09:27 4.00
0.64 43:30 05:42 08:54 09:22 4.64

4.47mi, 38:49, 25 APR 13, Springfield, Virginia

iThink:
The Connells, "Fun & Games"
Team America Theme Song

WX at 05:55 NW 17 10.00 Fair CLR 48 31 51% 42 NA 30.22 1023.5

Odometer 12B: 319.8mi

Z4. Average/max heart rate = no reading

Late start, backed up against having to go in early = hard run. However, my Garmin ForeRunner was run down (forgot to charge it), so no GPS track today.

Desperation = run faster!!!

Splits

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
4.47 38:49 38:49 08:41 08:41 4.47

4.47mi, 40:50, 23 APR 13, Springfield, Virginia

iThink:
Bob Mould, "The Descent"

WX at 05:55 Calm 10.00 Overcast OVC016 48 41 78% NA NA 30.32 1026.9

Odometer 12B: 315.3mi

Z3. Average/max heart rate = 148/163

Recovery run as I didn't feel up to much today. But I needed to get in a run. More later when I get a chance. It has been a bad month, for a variety of reasons.

Splits

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 09:02 09:02 09:02 09:02 1.00
1.00 18:30 09:28 09:28 09:15 2.00
1.00 27:45 09:15 09:15 09:15 3.00
1.00 36:43 08:58 08:58 09:11 4.00
0.47 40:50 04:07 08:46 09:08 4.47

10.02, 89:27, 21 APR 13, Springfield, Virginia

iThink:
Juno Reactor, "Navras"
Iron Maiden, "Aces High"

WX at 09:55 Vrbl 5 10.00 Fair CLR 48 21 35% 46 NA 30.60 1036.4

Odometer 12C: 265.2mi

Z4. Average/max heart rate = 156/172

A small hitch in the right knee, but I needed this run. Painful start, then shift to a much better middle of the run. But today felt rough. Tomorrow sounds like it'll be a rest day.

I attribute the Juno Reactor solely to having watched a snippet of the Animatrix this morning.   Ah, Internet nonproductivity.

Splits

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:41 08:41 08:41 08:41 1.00
1.00 18:03 09:22 09:22 09:01 2.00
1.00 27:01 08:58 08:58 09:00 3.00
1.00 36:11 09:10 09:10 09:03 4.00
1.00 45:11 09:00 09:00 09:02 5.00
1.00 53:58 08:47 08:47 09:00 6.00
1.00 62:39 08:41 08:41 08:57 7.00
1.00 71:41 09:02 09:02 08:58 8.00
1.00 80:22 08:41 08:41 08:56 9.00
1.02 89:27 09:05 08:54 08:56 10.02

4.76mi, 41:09, 20 APR 13, Springfield, Virginia

iThink:
Game Theory, "Real Nighttime"

WX at 08:55 NW 12 10.00 Fair CLR 47 26 43% 42 NA 30.06 1018.3

Odometer 12B: 310.8mi

Z4. Average/max heart rate = 162/175

The weather today was so glorious that it would've been criminal not to go out for a run, and today's run was a pleasant reward for yesterday once I was fully warmed up. My ability to climb hills remains poor, however.  Tomorrow I will go for a long run, early, hopefully around the entirety of Burke Lake.  Should be rewarding, if only for the amount of lard I burn.

Splits

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:42 08:42 08:42 08:42 1.00
1.00 17:35 08:53 08:53 08:47 2.00
1.00 26:23 08:48 08:48 08:48 3.00
1.00 34:52 08:29 08:29 08:43 4.00
0.76 41:09 06:17 08:16 08:39 4.76

4.61mi, 40:26, 19 APR 13, Springfield, Virginia

iThink:
Game Theory, "Bad Year at U.C.L.A."

WX at 05:55 SE 7 10.00 Overcast BKN022 BKN029 OVC047 65 60 84% NA NA 29.91 1013.1

Odometer 12B: 306.1mi

Z3 high. Average/max heart rate = 153/171

First run since PT test. I ran slowly (or at least felt that way), haven't gotten enough sleep this week, and in general feel like crap.

I also wasn't able to get away from work (in spite of my best efforts) early enough to have dinner with the family for the Younger's birthday last night, so I am pretty much in the running for the Great Santini Shitty Parent of the Year Award right now. I'm also pretty sure I'm not one of the OPFOR Cdr's favorite people right now, but that's not really new.

Splits

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:48 08:48 08:48 08:48 1.00
1.00 17:47 08:59 08:59 08:54 2.00
1.00 26:17 08:30 08:30 08:46 3.00
1.00 35:03 08:46 08:46 08:46 4.00
0.61 40:26 05:23 08:50 08:46 4.61

Record APFT, 286 points, 16 APR 13, Fort Myer, Virginia

iThink: none. I hurt too bad.

WX at 06:52 SE 3 10.00 Mostly Cloudy BKN065 57 50 78% NA NA 30.29 1025.8

Odometer 12B: 301.5mi equivalence

Z4. Average/max heart rate = no reading

I'm not in the same shape as I was when I was at Norfolk. The last two weeks of sitting at Fort Knox had a material effect on why. Nonetheless, I still got my customary 200 points on the pushups and situps, and then ran a rather lackluster 15:09 on the two-mile run.

What was unusual about today's test was the situps, at which point I was so close to the two-minute time limit by the time I had hit the 76 situps I needed to finish that I continued to fire out situps and did 85. I don't think that was actually a factor in my run time - there were uphill portions of the course, that were offset by equal downhill portions of the course.

The test itself was professionally administered, a credit to the folks at US Army Headquarters Company who were running it.  I was even weighed and taped for body fat before the test started.

Splits
75 pushups in about 1:05
85 situps in 2:00

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
2.00 15:09 15:09 07:34 07:34 2.00

4.63mi, 45:40, 14 APR 13, Springfield, Virginia

iThink:
"Johnny Hopkins On To Victory"

WX at 15:55 S 12 10.00 Fair CLR 74 41 31% NA NA 29.87 1011.3

Odometer 12B: 299.1mi

Z3 low. Average/max heart rate = 151/164

Legs are tired, but I need this run. This was taken at recovery pace, for the most part.  Last run before Tuesday.

Splits

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 09:36 09:36 09:36 09:36 1.00
1.00 19:56 10:20 10:20 09:58 2.00
1.00 29:24 09:28 09:28 09:48 3.00
1.00 39:21 09:57 09:57 09:50 4.00
0.63 45:40 06:19 10:02 09:52 4.63

6.06mi, 52:03, 13 APR 13, Springfield, Virginia

iThink:
Rush, "BU2B"

WX at 08:55 Vrbl 3 10.00 Fair CLR 56 38 50% NA NA 29.94 1014.1

Odometer 12C: 255.2mi

Z4. Average/max heart rate = 160/177

I am 41 today. I am not entirely satisfied with my life. My run today was an expression of catharsis to some extent of my dissatisfaction. Of course, there was a column of really slow-moving cyclists, so I was trying to keep up with them for a while.  I did, until they started rolling downhill.  But I was definitely going to try.

Splits

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:38 08:38 08:38 08:38 1.00
1.00 17:50 09:12 09:12 08:55 2.00
1.00 26:24 08:34 08:34 08:48 3.00
1.00 34:59 08:35 08:35 08:45 4.00
1.00 43:13 08:14 08:14 08:39 5.00
1.06 52:03 08:50 08:20 08:35 6.06

Long Distance

I was reading this, and went back to a point in my life where I was afraid to call home.  I was glad I never had to go to a relatively communal room to call home - instead, I worked in a place that had better connectivity than almost any other.  But I only called when everyone else was gone.

Years ago I tried keeping a relationship alive over great distance. I remember how things that had seemed certain became vague, unrecognizable. The vacuum of silence, how easily it was filled by my imagination and never with good things. But when I hung up that phone, slick with the grease of many other hands, many ears, my fighting was finished.

“Are you serious? Why don’t you fucking listen to me? I can’t believe this shit.”

Mostly, the soldiers hold their voices low, though sometimes they shout in rage and helplessness.  Some nights I hear lives disintegrating. The heartbreak is very near. If it is bad and loud, if a soldier is screaming at his wife, others in the room will lift their heads for a moment, then fall back into their emails.

4.05mi, 39:26, 10 APR 13, Radcliff, Kentucky

iThink:
Background music from the Inside Lacrosse recap of the Hopkins-Virginia regular season 2012 lacrosse game. I have truly no idea why this stuck. Maybe the hope that Hopkins will beat Maryland this weekend and keep playoff hopes alive.

WX at 05:55 Calm 10.00 Fair CLR 61 56 83% NA NA 29.95 1013.7

Odometer 12C: 249.1mi

Z3 high. Average/max heart rate = 146/164

The HRM rate was deceptive. Today was a painfully slow run with little speed or energy. I'd chalk this up to the 5 hours of sleep I got last night. I am beat. Also, maybe because of the delayed action of the pushups and situps from yesterday.

Splits

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 10:29 10:29 10:29 10:29 1.00
1.00 19:58 09:29 09:29 09:59 2.00
1.00 29:46 09:48 09:48 09:55 3.00
1.05 39:26 09:40 09:12 09:44 4.05

4.05mi, 37:16, 9 APR 13, Radcliff, Kentucky

iThink:
Above and Beyond pres. Oceanlab, "On A Good Day"

WX at 08:55 S 9 10.00 Mostly Cloudy FEW060 BKN150 65 55 70% NA NA 30.05 1017.3

Odometer 12C: 245.1mi

Z4. Average/max heart rate = 155/170

Morning workout was 40/40/40 pushups, 40/30/20/10 incline situps. That might partly explain this morning's labored effort just to get in what I thought was a slow pace. It could also be the remnants of last night's dreadmill session.

Splits

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 09:34 09:34 09:34 09:34 1.00
1.00 18:11 08:37 08:37 09:05 2.00
1.00 27:40 09:29 09:29 09:13 3.00
1.05 37:16 09:36 09:09 09:12 4.05

One more piece of introspection

For some reason I thought I'd reposted this more recently, but I guess I hadn't.  Surprisingly, since it's still a part of me in ways I wish wasn't the case.

Sometimes we have to leave people behind so that we can go on. So that we can continue to fight. Sometimes we have to do things that we never thought we were capable of, if only to show the enemy our will.

When you can be this for as long as you have to be, then you're a razor.

This war is forcing us all to become razors.  Because if we don't, we don't survive. And then we don't have the luxury of becoming simply human again.

It was something that was very much on my mind in fall 2007, when I had to be the necessary evil to get certain things done.  What I wasn't prepared for was the human cost of sending men and women out to go do the things I had told them to do.  My head is screwed on tight, mostly.  But I realized I never really gave up being a razor, as much as I needed to let it go, four years after coming back.

Reading Neil Peart's Ghost Rider was therapeutic in some ways, because Peart's road to healing really began with learning to forgive himself for his perceived failings.  I'm not sure I'm ready to do that yet.

I think the double effect of stacking a birthday at about the same time of the year as when I came back from my last combat deployment was the reason.  As a result, I don't usually associate my birthday with things I really want to remember.  I came back in a group, but I came back mostly alone.  I try not to think about that too much, because there were a lot of things going on then, but I also think what was shattered over the space of two years might not really be reparable.

4.0mi on dreadmill, 35:11, 8 APR 13, Radcliff, Kentucky

iThink:
Porter Robinson, "Language" (Koncept Remix)

WX at 21:55 Calm 10.00 Mostly Cloudy BKN120 64 51 63% NA NA 29.97 1014.7

Odometer 12C: 241.0mi

Z3 easy. Average/max heart rate = 151/165

Easy run since I slept in this morning and will do something more substantive tomorrow. I also needed to get something in tonight so I wasn't getting up every two hours to go take a whiz. Priorities, priorities. Might as well get something for the suck.  Today was deliberately easy and I really don't like running on back country roads at night since the chance of my getting waxed by a speeding car increases exponentially if I do.

Splits

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
4.00 35:11 35:11 08:48 08:48 4.00

We're on the side of the demons.

This expresses much of what I have become of the last few years.  It is not pretty, nor is it something I ever want my children to internalize, but it is undeniable.



“Which side are we on? We’re on the side of the demons, chief. We’re evil men in the gardens of paradise, sent by the forces of death to spread devastation and destruction wherever we go. I’m surprised you didn’t know that.”

4.05mi, 35:25, 7 APR 13, Radcliff, Kentucky

iThink:
Hans Zimmer, "Honor"
Ludwig van Beethoven, Symphony No. 3 "Eroica," Scherzo-Vivace

WX at 16:55 SW 16 10.00 Mostly Cloudy SCT048 BKN070 73 51 46% NA NA 29.96 1014.2

Odometer 12C: 237.0mi

Z4. Average/max heart rate = 158/173

The taper begins today. I got back from Nashville this afternoon and decided to get at a run. Not the usual long run, but one more geared towards running at max VO2 pace so I can get more used to sucking it up come next Tuesday.

Splits

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 09:06 09:06 09:06 09:06 1.00
1.00 17:34 08:28 08:28 08:47 2.00
1.00 26:40 09:06 09:06 08:53 3.00
1.05 35:25 08:45 08:20 08:45 4.05

4.02mi, time indeterminate, 6 APR 13, Nashville, Tennessee

iThink: None.

WX at 17:53 S 13 10.00 Mostly Cloudy BKN180 BKN250 71 37 29% NA NA 30.00 1015.6

Odometer 12C: 233.0mi equivalency

Z3-Z4. Average/max heart rate = no reading.

Decided to go to Nashville and visit the Music City H3 for the first time in about 5 years. I enjoy hashing, generally for the social aspects, but I also recognize that I've gotten older and less willing to indulge some of the sophomoric parts of hashing culture. But I don't think I'm going for a long run this weekend for the week prior to tapering for an upcoming PT test.

No splits.

The most versatile word in the English language...

I think it was Paul Fussell who wrote about the most versatile word in the English language, in his book Wartime, which was a follow-on to The Great War and Modern Memory.

Fussell was a pretty cranky guy, so I think he would appreciate this scene.  I know I sure do after watching Hopkins lacrosse drop their last two games.

Every iteration of the magic word is...different.  Somewhere out there, there's a linguistics student who needs to deconstruct this scene!

That said, even I have to issue a language alert for this clip...

2,000m on Concept2 Model D + 4.0mi, 8:28.4/38:29, 4 APR 13, Fort Knox, Kentucky

iThink:
The Connells, "Fun & Games"

WX at 18:55 SE 6 10.00 Overcast FEW036 OVC120 52 25 36% NA NA 30.01 1016.7

Odometer 12C: 228.5mi

Z4 erg. Average/max heart rate = 154/171
Z3 low run. Average/max heart rate = 147/152

This morning was pushups and situps: 40/30/30/20/20 and 40/30/30/30. The last was significantly separated, hence 30 rather than 20.

I have to be more vigilant about eating back what I burn off. The temptation is there, especially after staring at a computer screen all damn day.

The gym I went to today has three Concept2s, but the one equipped with the PM4 computer was messed up. Thus, no interactive HRM, so I had to use my Forerunner. I started thinking this was going to easy in the first 500m, and then realized just how ambitious my pace actually was after not erging in a long, long time. The last 500m was pure suck.

I followed with some easy wogging to see what parts of Fort Knox had become ghost towns after the departure of the Armor Center and School.  The most significant ghost town is the old Disney Barracks area, or what was more popularly called "Disneyland" when it was occupied by the 1st Armor Training Brigade. I started and stopped the run at the gym next to where I had been some 20 years ago as a cadet, attached to Company B, 1st Battalion, 70th Armor Combined Arms Task Force. Man, do I feel old. I took a PT test in the summer of 1993, and ran a 11:59 two-mile run. Can't do that anymore, and I'm not 21 anymore either.

Splits
Distance: 2000
Time: 08:28.0
Avg/500m: 02:07.0
Drag Factor: 106
Per Mile: 00:06:49

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 09:45 09:45 09:45 09:45 1.00
1.00 19:32 09:47 09:47 09:46 2.00
1.00 28:59 09:27 09:27 09:40 3.00
1.00 38:26 09:27 09:27 09:36 4.00

2.0mi on dreadmill/7.0mi, 16:04/60:51, 3 APR 13, Radcliff, Kentucky

AM iThink:
Nyan Cat music. No kidding.

PM iThink:
Above and Beyond pres. Oceanlab, "On A Good Day"
Jenn Grant, "Oh My Heart"

WX at 05:55 Calm 10.00 Fair CLR 28 17 62% NA NA 30.26 1025.3
WX at 18:55 NE 12 10.00 Fair CLR 49 15 26% 44 NA 30.26 1025.3

Odometer 12C: 226.0mi

AM run Z4. No HRM reading for AM.
PM run Z4. Average/max heart rate = 157/174

This morning I knew I wasn't going for very long, but my usual lugubrious tempo in the morning gave me little time to do much other than go hard on the dreadmill, after I'd done my 40/30/20/10 for pushups and situps.

Still, it was good to get that out of the way up front since I knew I needed a more substantive run tonight, which I got. However, running along the perimeter of Fort Knox meant that the roads that looked mostly passable from satellite imagery were anything but, so I remained on civilian roads. As I remember well, there's no shortage of hills around Fort Knox. Still, the weather was just about perfect for a hard run, and this evening run delivered the goods in spades.

AM Splits

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
2.00 16:04 16:04 08:02 08:02 2.00

PM Splits

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:50 08:50 08:50 08:50 1.00
1.00 17:17 08:27 08:27 08:39 2.00
1.00 26:16 08:59 08:59 08:45 3.00
1.00 34:57 08:41 08:41 08:44 4.00
1.00 43:55 08:58 08:58 08:47 5.00
1.00 52:35 08:40 08:40 08:46 6.00
1.00 60:51 08:16 08:16 08:42 7.00

4.0mi on dreadmill, 33:01, 2 APR 13, Radcliff, Kentucky

iThink:
Morrissey, "Tomorrow"

WX at 05:55 NW 3 10.00 Fair CLR 28 17 63% NA NA 30.21 1023.6

Odometer 12C: 216.9mi

Z4. Average/max heart rate = 160/174

After driving along the lines of 10 hours yesterday from Springfield to Radcliff, I was determined to get in something this morning. Pushups and situps to follow tonight.

Unfortunately, I'm still feeling the after-effects of the grilled onion double cheeseburger I got at McD's last night. Methinks my coworkers may not appreciate getting cropdusted all day...

Splits

SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
4.00 33:01 33:01 08:15 08:15 4.00