Frak

Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.

- Mark Twain

That said, profanity is perhaps preferable than continuing to nurse the kind of white-hot rage that makes me think about killing people in cold blood with my bare hands.

The last time I was this fucking pissed off I was realizing that I was raising both of my hands in the reflexive fire position for my former 8-pound M4 security blanket a few days after I came home from Afghanistan. I was thinking very deliberately about putting a controlled pair through the center of the driver's side door of cars speeding through my old neighborhood while yelling "SLOW THE FUCK DOWN."

The sad irony is that my bloodthirsty ire is the result of some generally inconsequential things, but I suspect I can't bellow "JESUS TITTY-FUCKING CHRISTALMOTHERFUCKING ALMIGHTY" at the top of my lungs in my house with my kids present.

Nothing I can't fix with the appropriate medication, although Johnnie Walker Red is pretty shitty and I realize I'm WINCHESTER on Glenfiddich 12. Easy fix later on.