Because I can't get it out of my damn head, I figured I'd share it with the rest of the world...because it's just that catchy. I'm not a graduate of the Special Forces Qualification Course or Ranger Course...but I spent enough time in the latter to witness a fair amount of this happening in front of my eyes...at least without the rubbing one out with a Maxim Magazine...
Correction: giving credit where credit's due: Sounds of SWC is the origin of the song. In the proper context, the song is about Phase II of the Special Forces Qualification Course, although I'm sure there are plenty of Rangers out there who can empathize as well.
What'cha gonna do, PL?
What'cha gonna do, PL?
When Murphy shows up and shit goes to hell,
What'cha gonna do, PL?
What'cha gonna do, PL? (What'cha gonna do?)
What'cha gonna do, PL? (What'cha gonna do?)
APL’s got us lost but you be the boss,
What'cha gonna do, PL? (What'cha gonna do?)
Okay, PL. You and your team have an ambush 7 clicks from here in two hours.
You’ll have Claymores out, security set in, and I don’t want to see any fucking shortcuts.
I want a full op order in 20 minutes and I expect to hear a WARNO in 10.
What are your questions, PL?
What'cha gonna do, PL? (What'cha gonna do?)
What'cha gonna do, PL? (What'cha gonna do?)
8 clicks to go in the rain and snow,
What'cha gonna do, PL? (What'cha gonna do?)
What'cha gonna do, PL? (What'cha gonna do?)
What'cha gonna do, PL? (What'cha gonna do?)
When Murphy shows up and shit goes to hell,
What'cha gonna do, PL? (What'cha gonna do?)
What the fuck is going on, PL?!
Where’s your fucking security?
Your 240’s unmanned, the gunner’s off in the bushes dropping off a SEAL team,
Your SAW gunners are asleep and your Alpha Team Leader’s rubbing one out with a Maxim magazine and a white light behind that fucking tree.
Are you in charge of this gagglefuck?
What the fuck are you doing, PL?!
What'cha gonna do, PL? (What'cha gonna do?)
What'cha gonna do, PL? (What'cha gonna do?)
You got 5 cantaleens and no MREs,
What'cha gonna do, PL? (What'cha gonna do?)
What'cha gonna do, PL? (What'cha gonna do?)
What'cha gonna do, PL? (What'cha gonna do?)
When Murphy shows up and shit goes to hell,
What'cha gonna do, PL? (What'cha gonna do?)
Hey! Wake up!
Okay, stop, PL. Where the fuck do you think you are?
Show me on the map. No, point to it. Not with your finger, jackass!
Are you kidding? That’s where you think you are?
All right, PL. You got 20 minutes till hit time and you’re lost.
I’m going to help you out. You’re right here. See that? Good.
Set your compass to 270 degrees. Think you can cover 4 clicks in 20 minutes? Let’s find out.
(Incoming!)
All right, that’s it! You guys better get on the damn ground when one of those goes off or I’m going to start assessing casualties!
I said get on the damn ground!
You’re not flat when that fucker goes off, you’re dead, you hear me! Dead!
Now get them out of here, PL!
What'cha gonna do, PL?
What are you gonna do, PL?
All night on your feet and not a wink of sleep,
What'cha gonna do, PL?
What are you gonna do, PL?
What are you gonna do?
When your team freaks out and people start to shout,
What'cha gonna do, PL?
You’re going to freak…out. (x2)
You’re going to freak the fuck out. (x8)
What'cha gonna do, PL? (What'cha gonna do?)
What'cha gonna do, PL? (What'cha gonna do?)
What are you going to do when you don’t know what to do,
What'cha gonna do, PL? (What'cha gonna do?)
What'cha gonna do, PL? (What'cha gonna do?)
What'cha gonna do, PL? (What'cha gonna do?)
When Murphy shows up and shit goes to hell,
What'cha gonna do, PL? (What'cha gonna do?)
WHAT'CHA GONNA DO?!
All right, all of you wake the fuck up!
WHAT'CHA GONNA DO?!
WHAT'CHA GONNA DO?!
I marched OPFOR up and down this road four times, right over your fucking objective and you all slept right through it!
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?!
I’ve had it with you, PL! You’re a fucking moron!
You’re incompetent. Time for extra training!
(Incoming!)
You’re dead, you’re dead, you’re dead!
Where’s the fucking RTO?
You’re the RTO? You’re dead, too!
You even know your nine-line, PL? You better figure it out real fast!
If I were you, I’d start getting your people outta here before more of them die!
Maybe you want to get a MEDEVAC enroute, what you do think, PL?
Do you even know where your patrol base is?
What direction are you fucking going, PL?
Where’s your fucking medic?
You’re the medic? You’re fucking dead, too! You’re fucking dead!
Keep going, PL! What in the hell are you going to do now, huh?
You know what, I’ve had it with you, PL! YOU'RE DEAD!
FUCKING NO-GO! Who’s next in charge?!
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