7.8mi, 70:56, 31 JAN 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 354 of the campaign.

iThink:
Bear McCreary, "All Along the Watchtower"
The Cure, "A Forest"

WX at 0130: 32 (0) DP 19 (-7) BP 30.18 (1022) NNW 5 RH 59

Odometer 4: 96.2mi

Z3.
Average/max heart rate = 159/168

This is perimeter run 71.

I was half-thinking about chickening out tonight, but I heard about about something on base that I couldn't pass up, so I went for a run to do some sightseeing.

I also needed to expend some lard. I skipped lunch today and I was paying for it all afternoon as I tried to eat my way through a shitload of junk food.

Tonight felt more like 33 degrees more so than yesterday - although I was wearing less snivel gear and I felt like I ran more efficiently. My legs were tired, though, from doing two perimeter runs in a row, so I'll need to be judicious about what I do the next few days to make sure I'm not overtrained.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:45 08:45 08:45 08:45 1.00
1.00 17:49 09:04 09:04 08:54 2.00
1.00 26:52 09:03 09:03 08:57 3.00
1.00 36:13 09:21 09:21 09:03 4.00
1.00 45:25 09:12 09:12 09:05 5.00
1.00 54:40 09:15 09:15 09:07 6.00
1.00 63:58 09:18 09:18 09:08 7.00
0.76 70:56 06:58 09:10 09:08 7.76

7.8mi, 67:47, 30 JAN 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 353 of the campaign.

iThink:
The All-American Rejects, "Dance Inside"
Death Cab for Cutie, "What Sarah Said"
Hilary Duff, "Wake Up"

WX at 0130: 33 (1) DP 32 (0) BP 30.09 (1019) Calm RH 93

Odometer 3: 316.6mi

Z3, Z4 finish.
Average/max heart rate = 163/176

This is perimeter run 70.

Much warmer than the temperature might indicate. I should've gone lighter with the snivel gear. It sure doesn't feel like 33 degrees.

I haven't run outside this week until now. Work has been that bad. I know it's bad when I go four days in between doing much of anything. It's that bad.

I'm hitting around 185 pounds partly because of this, and I should eat less, but I haven't had enough presence of mind to suck it up and be hungry.

I'm sure I'd run faster if I were lighter, but I haven't tried and keeping an even keel at work requires some food that I like other than just leaves.

Getting more than 5.5 hours of sleep a night might help too.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:37 08:37 08:37 08:37 1.00
1.00 17:27 08:50 08:50 08:43 2.00
1.00 26:15 08:48 08:48 08:45 3.00
1.00 35:15 09:00 09:00 08:49 4.00
1.00 43:50 08:35 08:35 08:46 5.00
1.00 52:38 08:48 08:48 08:46 6.00
1.00 61:27 08:49 08:49 08:47 7.00

4.32mi simulated, 45:00, 26 JAN 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 350 of the campaign.

iThink: None.

WX at 2330: 37 (3) DP 35 (2) BP 29.97 (1015) S 3 mist RH 93

Odometer 4: 88.4mi

Z3 low.
Average/max heart rate = 138/152

I figured I'd go a little shorter today, so only 45 minutes. I only got five hours of sleep yesterday, but I needed to burn lard. So lard it is.

Got a bit further into Keri Hulme's The Bone People, which is a paradoxical, but interesting read. When my entire working day revolves around writing plans, it's good to think about what else is there.

As I was telling my boss today, "education is an ornament in prosperity and a treasure in adversity." I'm sure I'm misquoting Vice Admiral James Stockdale, but it becomes more relevant every day here.

No Splits.

2.37mi simulated, 30:00, 25 JAN 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 348 of the campaign.

iThink: The All-American Rejects, "Gives You Hell"

WX at 0130: 41 (5) DP 28 (-2) BP 30.00 (1016) ENE 7 mist RH 60

Odometer 4: 84.1mi

Z2 heart rate, Z3 perceived effort.
Average heart rate = 127

Thirty minutes of idle wogging on the elliptical, and a chance to catch back up on my reading. Tonight's book is the continuation of the last, so Keri Hulme's The Bone People is still on the docket.

I was just working easy after going around the perimeter yesterday. I'm trying to maintain some veneer of momentum. It's worth a try.

That All-American Rejects song has a surprising level of schadenfreude even by my standards. It is catchy, and I can't dispute that I've felt that way sometimes in my life. Whatever.

No splits.

7.8mi, 68:59, 24 JAN 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 347 of the campaign.

iThink:
Tommy Keene, "Drowning"
Dos Gringos, "Going In For Guns"
Dos Gringos, "HLTC"

WX at 0130: 33 (1) DP 23 (-5) BP 30.18 (1022) Variable 3 RH 64

Odometer 4: 81.7mi

Z3.
Average/max heart rate = 153/165

This is perimeter run 69.

This has been, for the most part, a mild winter. This is fine for running, but not so good for fighting. I say this partially because I wasn't wearing much in the way of snivel gear tonight when I ran.

This is later than I intended, but I needed to run, and while I had momentum, I might as well get at it.

I also realized I didn't really care about how fast I was going, so long as I got in some mileage. I wouldn't call this junk mileage as I thought my pacing was actually fairly disciplined, relative to terrain and conditions. I also acknowledge the fact that I'm not ready to do anything like what I was doing earlier since I haven't been doing anywhere near as much.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:39 08:39 08:39 08:39 1.00
1.00 17:25 08:46 08:46 08:43 2.00
1.00 26:09 08:44 08:44 08:43 3.00
1.00 35:19 09:10 09:10 08:50 4.00
1.00 44:16 08:57 08:57 08:51 5.00
1.00 53:12 08:56 08:56 08:52 6.00
1.00 62:18 09:06 09:06 08:54 7.00
0.76 68:59 06:41 08:48 08:53 7.76

4.23mi, time indeterminate, 22 JAN 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 345 of the campaign.

iThink: none

WX at : 30 (-1) DP 21 (-6) BP 30.18 (1022) NW 7 RH 69

Odometer 3: 308.8mi

Z3.
Average/max heart rate = 128/175

This was a hash that turned out to be longer than expected because I spent a lot of time retracing paths. I also got some mud tonight since the rain/snow from the last few days left a lot of wet dirt. First one in a while I haven't hared. Haha.

Still, this is a big improvement from doing nothing for PT for the last two days.

This was needed, anyway, because work today got nucking futs, more than usual.

No Splits.

7.8mi, 65:29, 20 JAN 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 343 of the campaign.

iThink:
Dos Gringos, "Jeremiah Weed"
The Cure, "A Forest"
Sonny Rhodes, "The Ballad of Serenity"
Bear McCreary, "Storming New Caprica"

WX at 1930: 32 (0) DP 21 (-6) BP 30.21 (1023) NW 5 smoke RH 63 WC 26

Odometer 4: 73.9 mi

Z4.
Average/max heart rate = 167/180

This is perimeter run 68.

First perimeter run in 10 days. It's been a while, and I have gotten soft.

Long runs are my way of mentally unloading thoughts I've been meaning to think about but can't at the workplace. I'm not at the hooch long enough to do much other than sleep and occasionally write this screed.

These are not things I want to entertain much lately, but I do, because I feel like I must, from time to time.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:13 08:13 08:13 08:13 1.00
1.00 16:36 08:23 08:23 08:18 2.00
1.00 24:57 08:21 08:21 08:19 3.00
1.00 33:25 08:28 08:28 08:21 4.00
1.00 41:54 08:29 08:29 08:23 5.00
1.00 50:37 08:43 08:43 08:26 6.00
1.00 59:08 08:31 08:31 08:27 7.00
0.76 65:29 06:21 08:21 08:26 7.76

3.1mi simulated, 30:00, 19 JAN 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 342 of the campaign.

iThink: None.

WX at 0130: 28 (-2) DP 19 (-7) BP 30.18 (1022) WNW 3 RH 68

Odometer 3: 304.5mi

Z3 low.
Average/max heart rate = 135 or so

I was almost about to chicken out, but I decided go for thirty minutes of easy work. That was punctuated by surfing the web. Oops.

I'm hoping tomorrow dries out enough where I can run the perimeter. Maybe.

Still not sure if I've gotten past my ire at the incompetent and unprofessional. That, or there's Grey's Law: "Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice."

Tonight's book: Keri Hulme, The Bone People. I'd gladly read any kind of literature - and this one is sufficiently off the beaten path to be worthy of real effort. It's not like I expect to read New Zealand literature about the Maori while I'm in Afghanistan.

No Splits.

7.3mi simulated, 60:05, 18 JAN 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 341 of the campaign.

iThink: 10,000 Maniacs, "Every Day Is Like Sunday"

WX at 0030: 28 (-2) DP 26 (-3) BP 30.12 (1020) WNW 5 snow RH 92

Odometer 4: 66.1mi

Z3.
Average/max heart rate = 155

I learned my lesson from the last time and if I was going to endure incredible boredom on the elliptical whilst burning lard, I was going to catch up on some of the reading I'd been meaning to do while here.

The book I was reading was Michael Hodges' A Doctor Looks at War, an account of a cardiologist who was assigned to Fort Bragg, and deployed to Operation Iraqi Freedom in 2003. My parents bought this book for me, as I'd spent some seven years at Fort Bragg, but I should've guessed that there'd be a persistent element of religion. I'll burn through the book as it's a pretty fast read (I was about 175 pages through from the start when the hour timer went off) but people address things in different ways.

I realize this because as I go through this tour, and realize some of the more pervasive dark sides of my personality, that I don't embrace any kind of religion at all. I realize this because the nature of my work has led me down a repudiation of human nature in a great many ways.

There are some true professionals with whom I am honored to work. There are some others who I think are complete and utter shitbags and are merely exchanging food products and oxygen at varying rates. I'm still of the belief that working with the latter is part of the price I pay for the privilege of working with the former. The price of that is that most of the former will be crushed flat and scraped off the floor with a putty knife by the end of the tour.

We lost two soldiers today, one in a helicopter crash and the other in a suicide vehicle-borne IED bombing, and there are others who are maimed for life. I think of those and other troops we've lost, in light of what I know to be a fairly well-developed sense of revenge. I realize lately that it would take scant motivation for me to kill, up close, which may not be a good leading indicator of ethics and morality as I start approaching the last quarter of my tour.

There are a few people who have warned me that all this hate is going to burn me up. There is a part of me that doesn't really care, because that's the part of me that is going to do whatever it takes, straight up to the bitter end. There's another part of me that wonders what I have to do in order to let it go because I probably won't be a very functional member of society if I want to kill a statistically significant number of people I see that I patently don't respect.

No splits.

3.6mi simulated, 30:00, 15 JAN 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 338 of the campaign.

iThink: Douglas Fulton, theme music to the video game "Skyfox" (Electronic Arts, 1983)

WX at 0730: 30 (-1) DP 30 (-1) BP 30.33 (1027) WNW 7 mist RH 100 WC 23

Odometer 3: 301.4mi

Z3.
Average heart rate = about 130 or so.

When it's wet and soupy, I don't want to run outside. Because I don't feel like it.

I did, however, set my alarm to wake me up to get in thirty minutes of almost desultory work on the elliptical. This morning falls partly in the junk miles category, but it's also to build up momentum. This is an issue of willpower - if I plan properly, I can spare the 30 minutes a day for the workout and some time associated with everything else just to ensure that my physical training program for that day doesn't mean "do nothing but eat."

The theme music to Skyfox stems is actually from being subjected to some NBA basketball game. That made me think of another ancient (i.e., 1982 or 1983) EA video game called Larry Bird and Dr. J. One-on-One - whose theme music was Scott Joplin's "The Entertainer" - and then it reminded me of what would stick in the back of my head.

Yes, I feel old.

No Splits.

6.0 simulated, 55:42, 14 JAN 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 337 of the campaign.

iThink: The Smiths, "Cemetry Gates" (thinking about the Oscar Wilde book I still have in my vertical file at my desk)

WX at 0730: 32 (0) DP 30 (-1) BP 30.33 (1027) NNW 3 big hairy clods of snow; mist RH 92

Odometer 4: 58.8mi

Z4.
Average/max heart rate = no reading - the heart rate reading on the elliptical wasn't working.

There are big wet hairy snowflakes coming out of the sky, and it's motivational. Motivational enough to get me into the gym because I'm too much of a wimp to go outside.

Goal was to crank on the elliptical until the calorie counter hit 1000. I did that in 55:42, and I wasn't too concerned about distance. I needed to because I'm starting to get rounded and somewhat fat. Not acceptable.

I'm not so desperate that I'll hit the dreadmill. Yet.

I think if I can get back on a reasonable discipline, then I may just hit the elliptical for 30 minutes daily if I don't do anything else. I've become dilatory and the commandment of "if you do only one thing, it had better be PT" has fallen by the wayside. That has to change.

No Splits.

7.8mi, 64:59, 11 JAN 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 334 of the campaign.

iThink:
Bear McCreary, "Passacaglia"
Kenny Loggins, "Danger Zone" (Yes, I saw strike fighters taking off and thought of the film Top Gun.)
Cheap Trick, "Mighty Wings" (The next song on the soundtrack. Yes, I had the soundtrack. On tape. 22 years ago.)

WX at 0130: 28 (-2) DP 23 (-5) BP 30.27 (1025) NW 7 RH 81

Odometer 4: 52.8mi

Z4.
Average/max heart rate = 161/177.

This is perimeter run 67.

Work has been nucking futs lately. It is an indicator that I've been so ridiculously busy that the only time I can work out is at 1:30am when work is done. That is so wrong, in so many, ways, and yet there's not a whole lot I can do about it.

I was pleasantly surprised at the opening pace, until I realized I was going to have to work a hell of a lot harder to maintain what I thought was a reasonable pace. The usual crossover from suck to go that happens at around the 25-30 minute mark happened, and once I was past it, I was mostly steady for pace. It is the first substantive outside run that I've done in a week. That's not so good.

I realized I've been getting fatter lately, so I've been making some changes in my diet and trying to eat less. I'm not sanguine about being able to carve out time to run more, so I'll have to intake fewer calories. It is what it is.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:15 08:15 08:15 08:15 1.00
1.00 16:33 08:18 08:18 08:16 2.00
1.00 25:00 08:27 08:27 08:20 3.00
1.00 33:35 08:35 08:35 08:24 4.00
1.00 42:00 08:25 08:25 08:24 5.00
1.00 50:27 08:27 08:27 08:24 6.00
1.00 58:54 08:27 08:27 08:25 7.00
0.76 64:59 06:05 08:00 08:22 7.76

1.5mi hash, time indeterminate, 8 JAN 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 331 of the campaign.

iThink: Death Cab for Cutie, "The Ice Is Getting Thinner"

WX at 2230: 26 (-3) 21 (-6) 30.33 (1027) WNW 2 haze; smoke RH 81

Odometer 3: 298.8mi

Z3-Z4.
Average/max heart rate = 155/175

Good lord, first hash in almost a month. The cold weather is not helping much for people coming out and hashing, and I decided to hare since I didn't want to go very far and I wasn't expecting many people tonight. As it turns out, my trail was about the right length. Total distance to the finish was actually a little over a mile. I decided not to build in any long trails leading to dead ends, and I didn't employ any of the usual tricks I use to screw with the pack.

It was well-received, which is always a good sign, but I realize that my philosophies about laying trail are pretty well ingrained - but seem to work here - especially with less experienced hashers who are looking for flour in places - so I was especially obvious. And it worked.

Circle was in a pleasantly warm (very warm) room, but the beer was room temperature, ironically since the temperature outside is...below freezing.

There's another in two weeks, but I won't have to hare that one...for once!

~6.0mi (simulated), 1 hour, 7 JAN 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 330 of the campaign.

iThink: none.

WX at 0030: 23 (-5) DP 15 (-9) BP 30.12 (1020) WNW 5 mist RH 73

Odometer 4: 45.0mi estimate

Z2. By the calorie counter, 1000 calories.

Today is the Princess's birthday. I must call home later today. Period.

I decided to chicken out. I just didn't feel like taking on 23-degree cold, so I decided to wimp out a little less than the last two days and hit the elliptical machine. I realized this because my neck and cheeks are starting to get a little chubby, and that just won't do.

My legs will probably feel it tomorrow - but my skin and my knees won't, and that's okay.

No iThink tonight, because I decided to really fall off the wagon and started reading. I'd been reading Geoffrey Perret's Winged Victory, a detailed history of the US Army Air Force during World War II. Like Perret's other books, it's an irreverently good read, and really does a good job of highlighting the importance of the history behind the narrative in a way that never gets dry.

I was talking to one of my classmates from Fort Leavenworth on the phone today, and told him I've learned more about joint warfare in this job than in any other job I've ever had. It's also the most punishing job I've ever had, and that's why I think about where things are going, when I eventually leave Afghanistan.

But first, I must de-fattify myself.

7.8mi, 70:01, 3 JAN 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 326 of the campaign.

iThink:
R.E.M., "Driver 8"
The All-American Rejects, "Move Along"
The Dust Brothers, "Stealing Fat" (the opening credits music to the film Fight Club)
Bear McCreary, "Passacaglia"

WX at : 35 (2) DP 32 (0) BP 30.15 (1021) W 9 light rain RH 89

Odometer 3: 297.3mi

Z3.
Average/max heart rate = 155/165

This is perimeter run 66.

Our intelligence planner has been telling us the weather was going to turn shitty, and the timing was impeccable. It started raining just as I got back. Tomorrow's going to be wet and sloppy, so I may not run, except on the dreadmill.

I started out going what I thought was going to be a workable pace, but found out I was running with a tailwind and started getting tired. It was slower than I wanted, but faster than yesterday.

I may pay for this later in dead legs, but the run was worth it, at least for now.

Shitty weather in the winter is good for us because it's bad for the enemy. And when it drops below freezing, it's turning into snow. Wet snow on top of wet ground.

Kill on. No thanks to the 1st No Value Added brigade of slugs who steal oxygen from more deserving individuals who actually work in our headquarters.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:36 08:36 08:36 08:36 1.00
1.00 17:21 08:45 08:45 08:41 2.00
1.00 26:16 08:55 08:55 08:45 3.00
1.00 35:51 09:35 09:35 08:58 4.00
1.00 44:32 08:41 08:41 08:54 5.00
1.00 53:45 09:13 09:13 08:58 6.00
1.00 63:10 09:25 09:25 09:01 7.00
0.75 70:01 06:51 09:08 09:02 7.75

7.8mi, 71:41, 1 JAN 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 324 of the campaign.

iThink:
New Model Army, "Bad Old World"
Dmitri Shostakovitch, Piano Concerto No. 2, Allegro, Opus 102
Ludwig van Beethoven, Symphony No. 3 "Eroica," Scherzo-Vivace

WX at 2330: 28 (-2) 21 (-6) 30.09 (1019) ESE 2 smoke RH 74

Odometer 4: 39.0mi

Z2-3.
Average/max heart rate = 157/171

This is perimeter run 65.

I started out exhausted but I know I needed to run since it had been four days since I last hit the road. I know I'm starting to get fat.

I attribute the previous discussion of the killing wheel to the New Model Army song that was stuck in my head this evening, since it factors in as part of the lyrics.

I'm not sure what caused me to get the music I associate with "The Steadfast Tin Soldier" from the movie Fantasia 2000, but it stuck, and eventually passed to what I call the "T.C. McQueen Workout Video," in homage to the show Space: Above and Beyond. The episode of S:AAB that featured the Beethoven passage was "The Angriest Angel," which is an episode about loneliness and revenge, and eventually redemption. Given that I have an extremely well-developed sense of revenge lately, I thought it appropriate - and that it was interesting how many similarities I found between the character of Tyrus Cassius McQueen and various character traits I've been exhibiting lately.

Maybe not the healthiest thing. There is time to recover later.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 09:07 09:07 09:07 09:07 1.00
1.00 18:30 09:23 09:23 09:15 2.00
1.00 27:50 09:20 09:20 09:17 3.00
1.00 37:18 09:28 09:28 09:19 4.00
1.00 46:21 09:03 09:03 09:16 5.00
1.00 55:40 09:19 09:19 09:17 6.00
1.00 64:59 09:19 09:19 09:17 7.00
0.74 71:41 06:42 09:03 09:16 7.74