WX at 9 PM (2) Dec 30 19 (-7) 15 (-9) 30.09 (1019) Variable 1 mist
Odometer 13B: 78.9mi
Z3, with Z4 finish. Average/max heart rate = 154/172
I wasn't sure if I felt up to five, but I spent a little more time lallygagging than I thought I should, so I ran only 4.5. I was hoping to go easy, but I may do some longer, slower distance tomorrow. The difficulty of that, of course, is doing that on the treadmill. The alternative is to do something ridiculously easy and just sit there for two hours, which I've actually thought about doing. For that, I would need a book.
At least I'm in the gym BEFORE New Year's, not just after. I'm actually starting to work off some of my uncertainty-induced lard from the first two weeks of being here. That's encouraging.
WX at 3 AM (8) Dec 30 28 (-2) 21 (-6) 30.09 (1019) Variable 2
Odometer 13B: 74.4mi
Z3 high-Z4. Average/max heart rate = 158/168
It snowed early this morning, so I was greeted with about 5 inches of fluffy snow. I also decided to save my workout for the middle of the day since I'm usually up late, so instead of running like I have for the last few days, I decided to crank 8,000m out on the erg. I didn't go particularly hard, but I was trying to hold down the pace to about 160-165bpm, while trying to finish under 35:30. Not very ambitious, but I think that was a good alternate day from running 6 yesterday.
The iThink is misleading as I wasn't really having a song stuck in my head so much as concentrating on form, speed, and relative effort.
iThink:
Mary Lou Lord, "The Inhibition Twist"
Mary Lou Lord, "Supergun"
For Against, "Clandestine High Holy"
WX at 3 AM (8) Dec 29 33 (1) 3 (-16) 30.03 (1017) SSW 9 WC 24 (-4)
Odometer 13B: 74.4mi
Z4. Average/max heart rate = 1621/176
I slept in this morning, but knew I desperately needed to get a run in, so I did. This time I decided to expand the distance and go for six. I felt surprisingly good today, although it could also be chalked up to running in the mid-day rather than right after I wake up or right before I'm supposed to go to sleep.
Of minor not is the comparative lack of scenery here at Camp Cupcake. Not like previous deployments.
iThink:
Chris Stamey, "Incredible Happiness"
Chris Stamey, "On The Radio (for Ray Davies)"
WX at 10 PM (3) Dec 27 23 (-5) 21 (-6) 30.09 (1019) ENE 3
Odometer 13A: 405.2mi
Z4. Average/max heart rate = 154/173
I was entertaining the idea of sleeping in, but my hopes to go work out yesterday were dashed by some official writing I had to get done. I'll reattack on that writing, but I needed to get a start on it. By the time I was done, the gym was closed and in general, I don't run at night here in Kabul because the air quality is usually sketchy. Last night was much better than the night before, but that was because it was breezy enough where it dissipated the thick smoke that just settled the night before.
My weight has not appreciably changed since I've been here, so I need to probably be more judicious about trying to lose weight. I thought I was getting better, but apparently not. Unfortunately, living on a postage-stamp compound doesn't help and there are reasonable limits to how much I can tolerate being on a dreadmill before it gets really old.
WX at 4 AM (9) Dec 26 44 (7) -2 (-19) 30.21 (1023) Variable 5
Odometer 13B: 68.2mi
Z4. Average/max heart rate = 161/167
First run in a long while, but today was clear and not too cold. It was as good running weather as I'm likely to get, so I took it. I'm hoping these newer shoes mean my knees won't hurt as bad.
This is my delayed payment for pigging out at x-moose dinner last night. And at x-moose lunch yesterday afternoon. And at x-moose breakfast yesterday morning. Now it is time to work off my sins.
WX at 10 PM (3) Dec 23 24 (-4) 15 (-9) 30.30 (1026) Variable 5
Odometer 13B: 62.9mi
Z4. Average/max heart rate = 159/175
First run in a while, but I didn't quite feel up to rowing this morning, so I got on the dreadmill. Five and done. I felt pretty good, although some of that could be chalked up to not doing anything yesterday. At least it's something more than what I did yesterday, so the rule of thumb remains in effect. Four times a week, no more than two days rest.
The usual pace of work in a deployed organization gives this place a decidedly Groundhog Day-esque (as in the Bill Murray movie) feel. In this case, it certainly does not feel like Christmas Eve. It feels like any other day. Moving on...
iThink:
The Bats, "Mastery"
The bats, "Never Said Goodbye"
WX at 35 (2) 28 (-2) 30.15 (1021) NW 5 mist
Odometer 13A: 401.0mi
Z4. Average/max heart rate = 162/173
The commander I work for has a useful rule of thumb. Work out at least 4 times a week, and take no more than two days off at a time. That sounds like an eminently useful rule as it gives you some latitude for rest days when you need it, but enforces a certain level of discipline during the week.
I've taken the last two days off because I was stuck on some work-related projects. Thus, I needed to get at it this morning, and I figured today was as good a day as any to try to take on the dreaded 10,000 on the erg.
These times are nothing to write home about, but I'm not doing it for anything right now other than just basic health and weight loss.
iThink:
Attack in Black, "Liberties"
Journey, "Only the Young"
WX at 4 AM (9) Dec 19 48 (9) -2 (-19) 30.09 (1019) WSW 6
Odometer 13A: 400.7mi
Z4. Average/max heart rate = 165/176
First run since getting sick, but I didn't want to row two days consecutively. There's still some residual cough, but I need to do this to start burning off some of the lard I managed to accumulate in the last two weeks.
The OPFOR CDR told me that Popcorn, our remaining guinea pig, may not live much longer as he has been very reclusive and just pooping and peeing in his plastic igloo. That tells me he is starting to get older, going the same way that Thor did in his last two weeks. There is something about having pets that I find difficult - mostly in terms of saying goodbye, something I have never done very well. When I was living by myself, I avoided it by not having any pets. That's avoidance, I guess, but I didn't want to deal with the loss.
I've been sick with a fucking colossal chest cold the last few days. Today was the first day in a while I felt okay enough to actually contemplate going to the gym. I decided that something relatively balanced like rowing might work, although I needed to get at a reasonable pace.
The coughing wasn't too bad, and opening it up all the way felt okay. Whether this helps with some of the upper airway congestion I feel remains to be seen.
I've been using melatonin to try to sleep, which worked okay, but not the nights prior. It took a while for me to figure out that I should sleep face down so the post-nasal drip wouldn't collect back and cause me to wake up and cough.
iThink: Ultimate Fakebook, "Far, Far Away" Yo La Tengo, "Somebody's Baby"
WX at 9 PM (2) Dec 11 32 (0) 32 (0) 30.24 (1024) N 3 mist
Odometer 13A: 395.0mi
Z4. Average/max heart rate = 156/169
After three days of Doing Nothing But Eating, I had to fix that in short order, and got at for 8,000m on the erg. Not great, but as usual, my ergs tend to go strong start, weak transition, and recovery to normal speed by about the 25 minute mark, which for me is around 5500-6000m or so.
I didn't feel up to doing a full 10km, but I figured 8km would be Good Enough for Now. Off to work. No rest for the wicked, and it's going to be another fast-paced day of craziness.
iThink: Carly Rae Jepsen, "Call Me Maybe" Above and Beyond feat. Oceanlab, "Satellite"
WX at 8 PM (1) Dec 08 35 (2) 35 (2) 30.12 (1020) Variable 2 fog
Odometer 13A: 395.0 equivalence
Z4. Average/max heart rate = 155/164
I was wrong about there not being any Concept2s in the gym here. There are six, in varying states of repair. Most of them, if not all of them, are being used by crossfitters who routinely don't care too much about the computer and max out the resistance meter.
I'm apparently one of the few (if any) who isn't in it for full power, so I set the drag factor to my usual 106 or so and got at it, surprisingly, for a full 10,000m.
I'll probably feel it later today, but I'm glad there's a fully functional C2 out there that'll work because otherwise it'd be nothing but dreadmill from here on out. Also, I think I'll probably burn more lard rowing than running, frankly.
iThink:
Billy Bragg, "Sexuality"
Loquat, "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out"
Dum Dum Girls, "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out"
WX at 4 AM (9) Dec 08 48 (9) 41 (5) 30.15 (1021) E 7 mist
Odometer 13A: 394.0mi
Z4. Average/max heart rate = 166/179
After pigging out last night, I had occasion to sleep in because I was way the hell up too late last night. Thus, I decided of my own accord to get at it with a vengeance, and ran 7 on the dreadmill at what I thought was going to be about aerobic threshold pace, but turned instead into a tempo run after the first two miles. Of course, by that time I was committed, so I was going to grind out the pace to the best of my ability, which got me to about 6.9mph or so.
It remains to be seen whether I have enough discipline to lay off eating, which I think is starting to happen as I stay here longer, but I need to be much more diligent about actually running or doing something. My knees were feeling it all yesterday long, so I figure the dreadmill, as much as I hate it, is going to be the way to go.
WX at 9 PM (2) Dec 06 46 (8) 32 (0) 30.12 (1020) S 3
Odometer 13A: 387.0mi
Z3. Average/max heart rate = 154/165
First run in Kabul, and it was as challenging as I'd expect any run to be in as small a compound this is. It also emphasizes why I'd rather run outside than on the dreadmill. It was also raining, so it warranted snivel gear for the run. Not great, but better than nothing, and I was still coming off the dreadmill kill-a-thon last night.
I had low expectations of pace, but I guess mostly negative splits are always encouraging.
Addition: after running on concrete and rocks, my knees fuckin' hurt. Time to hit the Celebrex.
iThink:
Michael Kamen, "Band of Brothers Suite No. 2"
WX at 1 PM (18) Dec 06 46 (8) 32 (0) 30.15 (1021) Variable 3
Odometer 13A: 383.2mi
Z4. Average/max heart rate = 168/180
Late run as I slept in this morning, worked late, and got to the gym just a half hour before it closed. I was going to waddle away on the elliptical, but instead, I decided to get on the dreadmill as I'd burn more calories running than on the elliptical. I set the speed for 7mph, and in a vain attempt to get halfway done before the gym closed, I cranked hard, much harder than I probably should've. So this turned into a max VO2 run, but that's okay. I was also running off some ire from an email I got this morning and running hard is probably more constructive than hitting the Cancer Stix (tm).
At some point I need to get back to doing long runs again, but I just haven't had the werewithal to do so yet. At the rate the ISAF chow hall is feeding me, though, I'm going to turn into a fucking balloon if I don't get back on the stick.
WX at 10 PM (3) Dec 04 37 (3) 26 (-3) 30.27 (1025) Variable 3
Odometer 13A: 379.7mi
Z4. Average/max heart rate = 155/167
Today should've been an easier run, but I decided I was crunched for time and went a bit faster. I was going to hit the elliptical again, but decided to go for the dreadmill.
85.6kg today. I should probably back off the chow, but I'm still looking to settle in before I try to be more disciplined.
WX at 10 PM (3) Dec 03 37 (3) 30 (-1) 30.30 (1026) SSW 3 haze
Odometer 13A: 375.6mi equivalence
Z4. Average/max heart rate = 158/170
First day of PT after what has been almost 4 days of transit and a day at the workplace.
Kabul is at altitude, just like it always has been. I really feel it walking around, but I also felt it on the elliptical today. I was hoping for more running machines, but the Concept2 in the gym is toast, which was disappointing.
Perhaps not as disappointing as missing chow by 10 minutes. No matter.
This should be a good tour, and the living conditions are a lot nicer than I had in Bagram almost five years ago. Okay. Off to work.
I remember this happening to me, not at Thanksgiving, but at X-moose, when I was still in high school, and my then-ex-girlfriend was in college. I remember it as one of the rawest and painful memories of my teenage years, and really scarred how I look at relationships even today. I probably shouldn't be bitter, almost 24 years after the fact, but I remember thinking that she was The One. I realize now that it never would've worked, but the fallout from that experience fucked me up in a bad way for a long while.
I don't think there's The One anymore, if only because I've had other experiences along the way that have disillusioned me in ways that I'm not sure may ever fully resolve. Hope springs eternal, but I remain wary of relationships.Juliana Hatfield's "The Harpsichord" remains the benchmark of how I feel about relationships these days, unfortunately.
kidoki/FlickrMany
college freshmen are home this week for the first time since August.
They’ll retreat to what is comfortable – spending time with family, old
friends, and for some, a high-school sweetheart. Thanksgiving will also
be a time for big questions, particularly for those freshmen still in
high-school relationships. Did they take advantage of their first three
months in college, or did they lose out by spending too much time on
Skype? During their first trip home, freshmen have to decide whether
they stick it out with their first love, or succumb to what is known as
the “Turkey Drop”— the phenomenon of high-school couples breaking up when they come home for their first Thanksgiving.
Much of my own freshman year in college was determined by one
recurring scene. A friend knocks on my door. She tells me her plans for
the night – maybe a sorority party or a pregame in a friend’s room – and
asks me if I want to come along. I look at her, all dolled up in heels
and a cute crop top, and then I look back at my bed, soft and warm,
offering a Saturday night of TV, calls with high-school friends, and
microwavable macaroni and cheese. Do I push myself to meet new people
(and risk spending the next four hours smiling and saying “hey, where
are you from?” so many times that my face starts to hurt), or do I fall
back on the familiar?
One Princeton junior told me that, during her first three months in
college, she stayed in her room every Friday and Saturday night. She
didn’t go out because her high-school boyfriend didn’t want her to. The
first time she drank alcohol, he “fell apart.” When she signed up to
join a sorority, he started a screaming match. She knew she was missing
out on important college experiences, but there was still something that
made her stay with him for the first few months.
“First semester of freshman year, you don’t have that many real
friends, so when my high-school boyfriend would show up, I would be
like, ‘Yes, here is someone I trust, that I can actually tell things
to,’” another junior said. “He was someone who would just instantly
understand what was happening with me emotionally. I would want to just
hole up in my room for the rest of the weekend, talking to him.”
So when does this affinity for the familiar start to change? In the
first few months of college, there are those long, lonely freshman
nights – times when you wonder whether you’ve actually made any real
friends. By November, however, most freshmen have gotten over the worst
of their homesickness. The “Turkey Drop” happens in part because
freshmen realize they no longer need the safety blanket of their high
school significant other.
According to Dr. Christopher Thurber, a psychologist at Phillips
Exeter Academy, going home for Thanksgiving – being surrounded by people
they love – can actually help freshmen to get over their homesickness.
“When you’re homesick, your actions – being tearful, staying in your
room a lot – will cue in the people around you, and prompt an
appropriate social response,” said Thurber. “People will reach out to
you, and that often will boost the student’s confidence. This in turn
will help them overcome feelings of homesickness.”
When I came home for Thanksgiving my freshman year, I was
also shocked by how much I’d changed. I went to a high school where the
majority of students had been living in the same town since
kindergarten. Most people had similar views on political issues and
didn’t have experience with cultures different from our own. Then I
moved into my freshman dorm, and met a roommate who had just flown in
from South Korea. At Thanksgiving, it felt strange to reunite with my
group of high school girlfriends, who all grew up within a 20-mile
radius.
“A freshman will think, ‘When I was with this girl in high school, I
thought we were going to be together forever. Then I got to college and
saw that there was so much going on – different people and places and
things.’ The committed match that you had in your mind might not look
the same when you go home for Thanksgiving,” said Thurber.
Almost everyone I interviewed said there was no way to casually be in
a long-distance relationship in college. If you were weren't together
everyday on campus, then you had to make sacrifices, and you didn't make
sacrifices if things weren't serious. One junior told me that, freshman
year, her high-school boyfriend revealed his plans to propose the day
after graduation. She broke up with him a few weeks later.
“The nice thing about the college atmosphere in terms of
relationships is that you can ease in to them – you don’t have to know
where you stand, you don’t have to be really certain,” said a current
college junior. “But with long distance, there’s the implication that
you’re in it for the long haul. Having a long-distance relationship in
college doesn’t just mean long distance. It means long distance, long
term.”
By late November, you realize that the long-distance,
marriage-proposal kind of commitment is fundamentally opposed to the
ideals we’re taught to associate with college. A lot of women told me
they felt guilty about having a high-school boyfriend because it just
wasn’t what you were “supposed” to do as a freshman. When I asked them
exactly what they were supposed to be doing instead, no one had a
concrete answer. A few vaguely mentioned drinking more heavily, or being
free to consent to a dance floor make-out, but there was clearly
something else.
From movies like Animal House, Van Wilder, and 21 and Over,
we get this idea that college is the only time in our lives when we can
do stupid, drunken things and not get in too much trouble. The bridge
of Asher Roth’s legendary rap anthem, “I Love College,”
offers freshmen just one piece of advice: “Do something crazy!” In
college, you’re supposed to make mistakes because those mistakes become
cool stories – the kind that build character and street cred. But it’s
hard to feel free to make bad decisions when you’ve got someone from
home sending you a constant stream of text messages on Saturday night.
There’s more to this cultural idea of college than wild parties.
Leaving home, we’re told that the next four years will be a time to
experiment and figure out what we want to contribute to the world. Most
juniors and seniors I know chose to major in a department different from
the one they listed on their college application. That’s because we’ve
all taken risks, learning about topics we didn’t expect to love. The
whole process is trial and error: Try a lot of different things, and see
what works. The biggest pressure for freshmen to “turkey drop” comes
from knowing that we may never again be this free to explore.
WX at 04:51 NE 3 10.00 A Few Clouds FEW250 32 22 39 29 66% NA NA 30.35 1026.5
Odometer 13A: 372.5mi
Z4. Average/max heart rate = 152/172
Today marked a day I wanted to try to go hard. In spite of a forecast of 30F last night, I decided to try running in shorts and found it to be surprisingly not that bad. After yesterday's session of wogging, I wanted to see what happened when I tried to hold anaerobic threshold pace or faster. I think I was mostly successful, but not entirely.
My plantar fascitis is flaring up, but not in an uncontrollable manner. Of greater concern is my left ankle that is kind of flaring up. Okay, off to chow.
iThink:
Hilary Duff, "Wake Up"
The Cure, "A Forest"
WX at 04:51 S 3 10.00 Fair CLR 27 24 36 27 89% NA NA 30.34 1026.9
Odometer 13A:368.0mi
Z2-Z3. Average/max heart rate = 143/157
About five and a half miles of easy wogging. I decided to go another direction, but I was not about to go do anything hard because I knew my legs were toast. Not a rest day per se, but three days of running hard is not a good idea.
The only reason to run today was to burn lard, which I think this run did. Also, I wanted to do something after getting hepatitis B, typhoid, and anthrax shots yesterday. Voodoo doll rock on.
WX at 04:51 W 6 10.00 Overcast OVC018 34 28 35 33 79% 29 NA 30.11 1019.3
Odometer 13A: 361.7mi
Z3 high. Average/max heart rate = 153/166
Today probably should've been a recovery run. It wasn't because I was running at about 80% or so, on tired legs. Discretion would tell me I should probably back off the work, but I know I'm going to eat a few days of rest along the way once I fly into theater, so I'll try to get in as much work as I can at altitude. Maybe tomorrow will be an easy day. I didn't count on going 6 miles as I hadn't really reconnoitered the route beforehand and I was just running the perimeter of the post.
I don't expect to be able to run much at the theater gateway as I don't plan on being there long enough to do PT. I hope.
