7.8mi, 65:15, 28 DEC 08, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 320 of the campaign.

iThink:
The Connells, "Fun & Games"
Bear McCreary, "Storming New Caprica"
The Connells, "Upside Down"

WX at 0030: 28 (-2) DP 17 (-8) BP 30.06 (1018) ESE 2 haze; smoke RH 63

Odometer 4: 31.2mi

Z4.
Average/max heart rate = 161/177

This is perimeter run 64.

Today was a day where I had to get in a run to work off some basic hate that had accumulated over the last day or so. I was witness to an entire staff section effectively quitting to avoid giving the impression (however correct) that they had not contributed their fair share to what will be probably the most lasting order we leave behind us. It has been a while since I've been witness to that level of cowardice and general lack of professionalism and integrity. It shocked me, but given what I saw of that section's character, did not really surprise me.

People ask me why I have such a dark view of human nature. It comes from events like this where my fundamental mistrust of other people gets such bitter validation. I suppose I'm polite (if for only the reason that I only carry 15 rounds of 9mm ball currently and I don't feel like carrying more than one magazine). Admittedly, I'm pretty profane, but it's pretty unusual even for me to, when asked about other members of the task force staff, snap off with "Fuck 'em. Just fuck 'em. Fuck everyone who doesn't come out and do this shit."

I don't think I really need them to write the parts of the plan they should have written - but it just adds onto the list of things we've gotten dumped on us because there's a statistically significant part of the staff that's allergic to work and the shop I work in has a reputation of not letting things fail.

That said, tonight's run was comparatively hard for relative sleep (I got perhaps 3 hours last night), but to quote Angela Chase from the show My So-Called Life, "Hatred can become like food. It gives you this energy. You can, like, live off it." Unbridled cathartic rage is a spiritually empty way to run one's life, which I can say without equivocation. But there is an awful evocative quality to hate and fury, one I find disturbingly alluring from time to time.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:32 08:32 08:32 08:32 1.00
1.00 17:05 08:33 08:33 08:32 2.00
1.00 25:31 08:26 08:26 08:30 3.00
1.00 34:08 08:37 08:37 08:32 4.00
1.00 42:26 08:18 08:18 08:29 5.00
1.00 50:54 08:28 08:28 08:29 6.00
1.00 59:17 08:23 08:23 08:28 7.00
0.75 65:15 05:58 07:57 08:25 7.75