4.6mi, 47:29, 28 JUN 12, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink: Death Cab for Cutie, "We Looked Like Giants"

WX at 07:53 SW 13 10.00 Fair CLR 81 64 57% NA 83 29.93 1012.1

Odometer 12A: 112.4mi

Z3. Average/max heart rate = 149/167

Deliberately easy run. It's supposed to be hot again, but this morning was only about 80F.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 10:23 10:23 10:23 10:23 1.00
1.00 20:49 10:26 10:26 10:24 2.00
1.00 31:20 10:31 10:31 10:27 3.00
1.00 41:45 10:25 10:25 10:26 4.00
0.60 47:29 05:44 09:33 10:19 4.60

5.57mi, time indeterminate, 27 JUN 12, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
Oceanlab feat. Above and Beyond, "On A Good Day"
The Cure, "A Hundred Years"
Bear McCreary, "The Differently Sentient"

WX at 07:53 S 13 G 22 10.00 Fair CLR 80 61 52% NA 81 29.85 1009.5

Odometer 12B: 23.2mi

Z3/Z4. Average/max heart rate = 157/179

One of the things I don't really like about the Asics Gel Neo-33s is that they are loose enough in the back where I really have to tie them down tightly, something I never really had to do with the GT-series. The flipside is that I normally have to stop and adjust my shoes as they pinch my feet or if they are too loose, then my forefoot tends to rub.

My legs were very tired today. Weather probably did not help, but it was nicely breezy, which helped. I did not warm up until probably closer to the 4 mile mark, slower than usual.

I needed to get one in this morning, though.

No Splits. My watch says I was averaging 9:14/mi but I find that a bit hard to believe. I'm more inclined to think closer to 9:25/mi based on how I felt.

Death by Misadventure comes next

Nothing can possibly generate dumber stupid human tricks than this. Doesn't mean I'd pass up an opportunity to do it, though.

More than you!

Happy birthday, JWER!

4.61mi, 44:19, 25 JUN 12, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink: MxPx, "I Will Follow"

WX at 07:53 E 3 10.00 Partly Cloudy SCT130 82 71 69% NA 86 29.93 1012.2

Odometer 12B: 17.6mi

Z3 high. Average/max heart rate = 157/171

Even when I'm trying to run easy, today's run was harder than it should've been. At least I got out there, but I recognize that I always run much worse in the heat than during cooler conditions.

Maybe tomorrow will be an easier run.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 09:18 09:18 09:18 09:18 1.00
1.00 18:42 09:24 09:24 09:21 2.00
1.00 28:27 09:45 09:45 09:29 3.00
1.00 38:13 09:46 09:46 09:33 4.00
0.61 44:19 06:06 10:00 09:37 4.61

6.68mi, 63:05, 24 JUN 12, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
Carly Rae Jepsen, "Call Me Maybe"
Motley Crüe, "Kickstart My Heart"

WX at 08:53 SW 15 10.00 Fair CLR 84 66 55% NA 86 29.93 1012.1
Odometer 12A: 107.8mi

Z4. Average/max heart rate = 165/184

Today is Sunday. The logical run, therefore, is a 666. No other alternative.

Today was slow and painful, but today is chalking up to be the first triple digit day and I woke up later than I probably should've for a 666 run.

I was insufficiently hydrated, as I found out by the end of the first lap, but I didn't want to run too much further.

I slowed since I was running off relative effort and heart rate rather than trying to maintain speed. The heat is really affecting me right now. Probably will continue to do so through the entire summer.

iThink aside, "Call Me Maybe" is catchy, but on the long run, I was thinking of something catchier and maybe a lot more prurient.

Time to drink a lot of water.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 09:13 09:13 09:13 09:13 1.00
1.00 18:33 09:20 09:20 09:16 2.00
1.00 28:02 09:29 09:29 09:21 3.00
1.00 37:23 09:21 09:21 09:21 4.00
1.00 46:58 09:35 09:35 09:24 5.00
1.00 56:35 09:37 09:37 09:26 6.00
0.68 63:05 06:30 09:34 09:27 6.68

4.61mi, 46:16, 22 JUN 12, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
Jane Wiedlin, "Rush Hour"
Jane Wiedlin, "Inside A Dream"

WX at 07:53 NE 6 10.00 Fair CLR 70 58 66% NA NA 30.09 1017.9

Odometer 12A: 101.1mi

Z3. Average/max heart rate = 153/168

Today's iThink is partly because I chanced across this cover yesterday and really do prefer it to the original. Ha, ha, ha. This might be because I was subjected to no end of Titanic envy when I was a senior lieutenant and eventually grew tired of hearing Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" beat to death. It's also great to hear a 1999 performance that clearly shows the Go-Go's punk roots.

Easy run today, although it was pleasantly cool. It is supposed to be hot as hell today, so I guess I got in what I needed to get in today.

Interestingly, for this pace run, I ran as even a pace as I think I've ever run - ever. Just slow.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 10:02 10:02 10:02 10:02 1.00
1.00 20:05 10:03 10:03 10:02 2.00
1.00 30:07 10:02 10:02 10:02 3.00
1.00 40:07 10:00 10:00 10:02 4.00
0.61 46:16 06:09 10:05 10:02 4.61

4.62mi, 41:09, 21 JUN 12, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink: The Cure, "A Forest" (from In Orange disk)

WX at 07:53 NW 8 10.00 Overcast OVC008 66 66 100% NA NA 30.09 1017.7

Odometer 12B: 13.0mi

Z4. Average/max heart rate = 160/183

The weather made a huge difference - and while I don't need to be doing back-to-back hard days, I wanted to find out if it was purely the weather that was killing me on earlier runs.

It was, mostly. Today was hard but not brutal in the way that yesterday's run was. I guess that's good since I probably should've run a recovery run today, but I might as well get back used to working again.

Heat acclimatization is going to be fun this summer.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:43 08:43 08:43 08:43 1.00
1.00 17:35 08:52 08:52 08:47 2.00
1.00 26:37 09:02 09:02 08:52 3.00
1.00 35:30 08:53 08:53 08:52 4.00
0.62 41:09 05:39 09:07 08:54 4.62

4.6mi, 43:26, 20 JUN 12, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
Hilary Duff, "Wake Up"
Descendents The Lemonheads, "Steve's Boy"

WX at 06:53 S 20 G 28 10.00 A Few Clouds FEW030 76 66 81 75 72% NA 78 29.87 1010.2

Odometer 12A: 96.5

Z4. Average/max heart rate = 161/179

OMFG today was a slow painful start. I fully recognize that after not doing anything for a month I was going to hurt but not like this.

I felt better by mile 3.

I could chalk some of this up to having finally worn the orthotics I was prescribed a while ago and I can feel it in my leg joints. Suck.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 09:35 09:35 09:35 09:35 1.00
1.00 18:47 09:12 09:12 09:24 2.00
1.00 28:32 09:45 09:45 09:31 3.00
1.00 37:43 09:11 09:11 09:26 4.00
0.60 43:26 05:43 09:32 09:27 4.60

4.61mi, 42:39, 18 JUN 12, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
Katy Perry, "Part of Me"
Hilary Duff, "Come Clean"

WX at 07:53 S 22 G 28 10.00 Fair and Breezy CLR 79 67 67% NA 81 29.69 1004.2

Odometer 12B: 8.4mi

Z4 high. Average/max heart rate = 167/188

I do not know what sparked the onslaught of teenybopper music on today's iThink.

I reap what I sow. My decision to backburner exercise for the last month came home to roost with a vengeance today. Never have I worked so hard to run so slowly.

The only redeeming feature of today's run was the ridiculously high winds that made today's run tolerable. Barely.

The road to recovery begins today.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 09:11 09:11 09:11 09:11 1.00
1.00 18:12 09:01 09:01 09:06 2.00
1.00 27:34 09:22 09:22 09:11 3.00
1.00 36:54 09:20 09:20 09:13 4.00
0.61 42:39 05:45 09:26 09:15 4.61

Dissertation manuscript complete

I am reminded of something I read in the combat techniques portion of the old 82d Airborne Division Airborne Standing Operating Procedures (in this case for jumpmasters pulling safety duties): "you will be tired, very, very tired."

I completed and sent off to my committee the first full draft of the dissertation manuscript. 453 pages.

The last large paper I wrote for a degree program was my monograph for the School of Advanced Military Studies. That paper was about 44 pages, and was written over the span of about 7 months.

This dissertation is about 10 times the size of that paper and was written in the space of about 12 months. The last chapter was about the same size and level of rigor as my SAMS monograph and was written in 22 days.

Surprisingly, I actually feel pretty confident about the defense and stand by my assertion that I think I can get into a discussion of operational art with anyone in the Department of Defense and argue persuasively for all of the points I need to make. That's not just on my own topics, but also on the ones I'm likely to face in the future.

That dissertation manuscript and its preparation has been the reason why I've done exactly six workouts in the last 30 days. I can start rebuilding myself, since writing this pretty much destroyed me physically.

Now I await the comments from my committee.

Something to which I need to aspire

THE WARRIOR CREED
By Robert L. Humphrey (1923 -1997)

Wherever I go,
everyone is a little bit safer because I am there.

Wherever I am,
anyone in need has a friend.

Whenever I return home,
everyone is happy I am there.

"It's a better life!"

I have been eminently aware that I have been a really unpleasant person to be around the last few weeks. Robert L. Humphrey was a rifle platoon commander on Iwo Jima and spent over a decade trying to figure out why his life had turned out the way it had (the Great Depression, then combat in the Pacific). He eventually took a degree from Harvard Law School and taught Economics at MIT. I found this, in a short excursion from research, on the home page of the Marine Corps Martial Arts Program (probably one of the more harmless excursions from research I've taken).

I think I try pretty hard to live up to the first part of this creed. I'd like to think, as prickly as I tend to be, that I do okay with the second. I'm not so sure about the third. The better life part is still a work in progress.

I don't doubt the basic truth of this creed - but I have no illusions about how well I do at it. I have much work left.

The fuze is short

Song of the Day: Metallica, "St. Anger" Bob Mould, "Underneath Days"

I am writing the introduction to my dissertation. It's the last goddamn thing I have to do before I sort out the bibliography and prepare the whole thing for the committee. That's the price I paid for getting only a year to write a dissertation that, when bibliography and introduction are complete, I predict will weigh in at about 475 pages.

It took me about 7 months, roughly speaking, to write my monograph at SAMS. That was about 15,000 words. The dissertation is about 10 times the size of my monograph and it has been written in 11 months.

I realize my fuze is pretty short when I have to explain to people what I want on the phone (trying to get something fixed) and they are not explaining what I am telling them about their own fucking website. That's 15 minutes of my life I'm never getting back, but it's another 30 minutes of trying to orient on writing and not feel like I want to shoot people in the head, which is the hidden cost of small distractions. Some of it could be that I get my most productive work done on this when I don't have to fucking talk to anybody or be around anyone until I get this goddamn dissertation complete. Jesus fucking airborne christ.

You are not special

Good lord, is this so much truth.



Dr. Wong, Dr. Keough, Mrs. Novogroski, Ms. Curran, members of the board of education, family and friends of the graduates, ladies and gentlemen of the Wellesley High School class of 2012, for the privilege of speaking to you this afternoon, I am honored and grateful. Thank you.

So here we are... commencement... life’s great forward-looking ceremony. (And don’t say, “What about weddings?” Weddings are one-sided and insufficiently effective. Weddings are bride-centric pageantry. Other than conceding to a list of unreasonable demands, the groom just stands there. No stately, hey-everybody-look-at-me procession. No being given away. No identity-changing pronouncement. And can you imagine a television show dedicated to watching guys try on tuxedos? Their fathers sitting there misty-eyed with joy and disbelief, their brothers lurking in the corner muttering with envy. Left to men, weddings would be, after limits-testing procrastination, spontaneous, almost inadvertent... during halftime... on the way to the refrigerator. And then there’s the frequency of failure: statistics tell us half of you will get divorced. A winning percentage like that’ll get you last place in the American League East. The Baltimore Orioles do better than weddings.)

But this ceremony... commencement... a commencement works every time. From this day forward... truly... in sickness and in health, through financial fiascos, through midlife crises and passably attractive sales reps at trade shows in Cincinnati, through diminishing tolerance for annoyingness, through every difference, irreconcilable and otherwise, you will stay forever graduated from high school, you and your diploma as one, ‘til death do you part.

No, commencement is life’s great ceremonial beginning, with its own attendant and highly appropriate symbolism. Fitting, for example, for this auspicious rite of passage, is where we find ourselves this afternoon, the venue. Normally, I avoid cliches like the plague, wouldn’t touch them with a ten-foot pole, but here we are on a literal level playing field. That matters. That says something. And your ceremonial costume... shapeless, uniform, one-size-fits-all. Whether male or female, tall or short, scholar or slacker, spray-tanned prom queen or intergalactic X-Box assassin, each of you is dressed, you’ll notice, exactly the same. And your diploma... but for your name, exactly the same.

All of this is as it should be, because none of you is special.

You are not special. You are not exceptional.

Contrary to what your u9 soccer trophy suggests, your glowing seventh grade report card, despite every assurance of a certain corpulent purple dinosaur, that nice Mister Rogers and your batty Aunt Sylvia, no matter how often your maternal caped crusader has swooped in to save you... you’re nothing special.

Yes, you’ve been pampered, cosseted, doted upon, helmeted, bubble-wrapped. Yes, capable adults with other things to do have held you, kissed you, fed you, wiped your mouth, wiped your bottom, trained you, taught you, tutored you, coached you, listened to you, counseled you, encouraged you, consoled you and encouraged you again. You’ve been nudged, cajoled, wheedled and implored. You’ve been feted and fawned over and called sweetie pie. Yes, you have. And, certainly, we’ve been to your games, your plays, your recitals, your science fairs. Absolutely, smiles ignite when you walk into a room, and hundreds gasp with delight at your every tweet. Why, maybe you’ve even had your picture in the Townsman! And now you’ve conquered high school... and, indisputably, here we all have gathered for you, the pride and joy of this fine community, the first to emerge from that magnificent new building...

But do not get the idea you’re anything special. Because you’re not.

The empirical evidence is everywhere, numbers even an English teacher can’t ignore. Newton, Natick, Nee... I am allowed to say Needham, yes? ...that has to be two thousand high school graduates right there, give or take, and that’s just the neighborhood Ns. Across the country no fewer than 3.2 million seniors are graduating about now from more than 37,000 high schools. That’s 37,000 valedictorians... 37,000 class presidents... 92,000 harmonizing altos... 340,000 swaggering jocks... 2,185,967 pairs of Uggs. But why limit ourselves to high school? After all, you’re leaving it. So think about this: even if you’re one in a million, on a planet of 6.8 billion that means there are nearly 7,000 people just like you. Imagine standing somewhere over there on Washington Street on Marathon Monday and watching sixty-eight hundred yous go running by. And consider for a moment the bigger picture: your planet, I’ll remind you, is not the center of its solar system, your solar system is not the center of its galaxy, your galaxy is not the center of the universe. In fact, astrophysicists assure us the universe has no center; therefore, you cannot be it. Neither can Donald Trump... which someone should tell him... although that hair is quite a phenomenon.

“But, Dave,” you cry, “Walt Whitman tells me I’m my own version of perfection! Epictetus tells me I have the spark of Zeus!” And I don’t disagree. So that makes 6.8 billion examples of perfection, 6.8 billion sparks of Zeus. You see, if everyone is special, then no one is. If everyone gets a trophy, trophies become meaningless. In our unspoken but not so subtle Darwinian competition with one another–which springs, I think, from our fear of our own insignificance, a subset of our dread of mortality — we have of late, we Americans, to our detriment, come to love accolades more than genuine achievement. We have come to see them as the point — and we’re happy to compromise standards, or ignore reality, if we suspect that’s the quickest way, or only way, to have something to put on the mantelpiece, something to pose with, crow about, something with which to leverage ourselves into a better spot on the social totem pole. No longer is it how you play the game, no longer is it even whether you win or lose, or learn or grow, or enjoy yourself doing it... Now it’s “So what does this get me?” As a consequence, we cheapen worthy endeavors, and building a Guatemalan medical clinic becomes more about the application to Bowdoin than the well-being of Guatemalans. It’s an epidemic — and in its way, not even dear old Wellesley High is immune... one of the best of the 37,000 nationwide, Wellesley High School... where good is no longer good enough, where a B is the new C, and the midlevel curriculum is called Advanced College Placement. And I hope you caught me when I said “one of the best.” I said “one of the best” so we can feel better about ourselves, so we can bask in a little easy distinction, however vague and unverifiable, and count ourselves among the elite, whoever they might be, and enjoy a perceived leg up on the perceived competition. But the phrase defies logic. By definition there can be only one best. You’re it or you’re not.

If you’ve learned anything in your years here I hope it’s that education should be for, rather than material advantage, the exhilaration of learning. You’ve learned, too, I hope, as Sophocles assured us, that wisdom is the chief element of happiness. (Second is ice cream... just an fyi) I also hope you’ve learned enough to recognize how little you know... how little you know now... at the moment... for today is just the beginning. It’s where you go from here that matters.

As you commence, then, and before you scatter to the winds, I urge you to do whatever you do for no reason other than you love it and believe in its importance. Don’t bother with work you don’t believe in any more than you would a spouse you’re not crazy about, lest you too find yourself on the wrong side of a Baltimore Orioles comparison. Resist the easy comforts of complacency, the specious glitter of materialism, the narcotic paralysis of self-satisfaction. Be worthy of your advantages. And read... read all the time... read as a matter of principle, as a matter of self-respect. Read as a nourishing staple of life. Develop and protect a moral sensibility and demonstrate the character to apply it. Dream big. Work hard. Think for yourself. Love everything you love, everyone you love, with all your might. And do so, please, with a sense of urgency, for every tick of the clock subtracts from fewer and fewer; and as surely as there are commencements there are cessations, and you’ll be in no condition to enjoy the ceremony attendant to that eventuality no matter how delightful the afternoon.

The fulfilling life, the distinctive life, the relevant life, is an achievement, not something that will fall into your lap because you’re a nice person or mommy ordered it from the caterer. You’ll note the founding fathers took pains to secure your inalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness–quite an active verb, “pursuit”–which leaves, I should think, little time for lying around watching parrots rollerskate on Youtube. The first President Roosevelt, the old rough rider, advocated the strenuous life. Mr. Thoreau wanted to drive life into a corner, to live deep and suck out all the marrow. The poet Mary Oliver tells us to row, row into the swirl and roil. Locally, someone... I forget who... from time to time encourages young scholars to carpe the heck out of the diem. The point is the same: get busy, have at it. Don’t wait for inspiration or passion to find you. Get up, get out, explore, find it yourself, and grab hold with both hands. (Now, before you dash off and get your YOLO tattoo, let me point out the illogic of that trendy little expression–because you can and should live not merely once, but every day of your life. Rather than You Only Live Once, it should be You Live Only Once... but because YLOO doesn’t have the same ring, we shrug and decide it doesn’t matter.)

None of this day-seizing, though, this YLOOing, should be interpreted as license for self-indulgence. Like accolades ought to be, the fulfilled life is a consequence, a gratifying byproduct. It’s what happens when you’re thinking about more important things. Climb the mountain not to plant your flag, but to embrace the challenge, enjoy the air and behold the view. Climb it so you can see the world, not so the world can see you. Go to Paris to be in Paris, not to cross it off your list and congratulate yourself for being worldly. Exercise free will and creative, independent thought not for the satisfactions they will bring you, but for the good they will do others, the rest of the 6.8 billion–and those who will follow them. And then you too will discover the great and curious truth of the human experience is that selflessness is the best thing you can do for yourself. The sweetest joys of life, then, come only with the recognition that you’re not special.

Because everyone is.

Congratulations. Good luck. Make for yourselves, please, for your sake and for ours, extraordinary lives.

5.43mi, 49:44, 9 JUN 12, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink:
"Rendezvous with Destiny"
"The All-American Soldier"
Dirty Vegas, "Little White Doves"

WX at 08:53 S 9 10.00 Fair CLR 75 55 50% NA NA 29.88 1010.7

Odometer 12A: 91.9mi

Z4. Average/max heart rate = 165/189

I have no earthly idea what prompted me to remember the songs of both of the airborne divisions in which I have served this morning. Truly, no idea.

It was kind of hot today and when you only work out once a week, I guess you reap what you sow. At least until I get done with the dissertation, in which case it's time to rebuild.

My writing has gone slower because it has gotten harder and harder to concentrate the last few days. That might be an indicator of mental exhaustion.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:58 08:58 08:58 08:58 1.00
1.00 17:58 09:00 09:00 08:59 2.00
1.00 27:26 09:28 09:28 09:09 3.00
1.00 36:44 09:18 09:18 09:11 4.00
1.00 45:53 09:09 09:09 09:11 5.00
0.43 49:44 03:51 08:57 09:10 5.43

4.61mi, 39:33, 2 JUN 12, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

iThink: Chris Richards and the Subtractions, "Don't Do Anything Tonight"

WX at 08:53 W 12 10.00 Fair CLR 62 51 67% NA NA 29.92 1012.6

Odometer 12A: 86.5mi

Z3 start, Z4 steady state. Average/max heart rate = 165/183

I haven't had a song this catchy (or for that matter, this jangly) as an earwig since I chanced on Tommy Keene in the late 1990s, or Velvet Crush a few years beforehand. For those who grew up on power-pop like Tommy Keene and Let's Active (and I guess Teenage Fanclub, which is the other band that gets mentioned but I never quite grabbed onto), this is a must.

I ordered the entire box set ($30 for six CDs, so a GREAT deal), this is that good. I haven't jumped to buy that fast since I forked out for the JudyBats' Native Son over two decades ago.

I didn't go out thinking I was going to go hard, but by mile 3, the desire to maintain speed had taken over and I started to go much harder than I expected.

First run in a week. I needed to because my coffee consumption is increasing to a liter a day (and yesterday it was gone by 3:30pm)and I needed to do something different.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:44 08:44 08:44 08:44 1.00
1.00 17:09 08:25 08:25 08:34 2.00
1.00 25:51 08:42 08:42 08:37 3.00
1.00 34:15 08:24 08:24 08:34 4.00
0.61 39:33 05:18 08:41 08:35 4.61