When I came back from Afghanistan, I didn't want to talk about it much because I wasn't in a close combat specialty, and I had nothing that smacked of a near-death experience.
I found, though, that I took the casualty reports a lot more personally than I probably should've. Part of that was because of my role as primary author of the campaign plan and framework orders that sent those troopers to their deaths.
When your people die, and you don't, you feel guilty. I have a hard time listening to people going into combat, and as a onetime joint planner, I felt guilty. That's not something that makes much sense since nobody shot at my fat ass. It probably won't, but I have a very, very hard time controlling it.
In spite of the fact that this isn't from my war and not from my organization, I had a really hard time listening to this. If I didn't feel some pangs of guilty conscience though, I would wonder if I'd lost something far more important.
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