5.1mi, 42:56

New Model Army, "Running In The Rain"
The Cure, "Disintegration"

WX at 0700: 55 (13), DP 53 (12), BP 29.91 (1012), winds NE 9, RH 93%

Odometer 2: 331.5mi

Z3 low.
Resting heart rate before start = 57 (135/97)

Today was a thought-provoking run. I really didn't feel like going out today, but I probably needed it, if for nothing more than catharsis. Today started out slow, got slower, and stayed slow. I don't care.

I attach the lyrics of the two songs in the iThink today, for they have weighty significance:

So many words are spoken
Round and round and round and round
So many confidences broken in this town
Too many cigarettes, I don't want to feel like this anymore
I go running, running in the rain

The television programmes
Go round and round and round and round
Oh God, I wish you were still here
Oh yes, I'm sorry for what I said
I love you, but I still wish you were dead
Now I'm running, running in the rain

So much time for thinking
Round and round and round and round
The boys all go drinking just to shut it out
Out here in the storm
You know that you're alive
Running, running in the rain
- New Model Army, "Running In The Rain"

oh i miss the kiss of treachery the shameless kiss of vanity the soft and the black and the velvety up tight against the side of me and mouth and eyes and heart all bleed and run in thickening streams of greed as bit by bit it starts the need to just let go my party piece

oh i miss the kiss of treachery the aching kiss before i feed the stench of a love for a younger meat and the sound that it makes when it cuts in deep the holding up on bended knees the addiction of duplicities as bit by bit it starts the need to just let go my party piece

but i never said i would stay to the end so i leave you with babies and hoping for frequency screaming like this in the hope of the secrecy screaming me over and over and over i leave you with photographs pictures of trickery stains on the carpet and stains on the scenery songs about happiness murmured in dreams when we both us knew how the ending would be...

so it's all come back round to breaking apart again breaking apart like i'm made up of glass again making it up behind my back again holding my breath for the fear of sleep again holding it up behind my head again cut in deep to the heart of the bone again round and round and round and it's coming apart again over and over and over

now that i know that i'm breaking to pieces i'll pull out my heart and i'll feed it to anyone crying for sympathy crocodile cry for the love of the crowd and the three cheers from everyone dropping through sky through the glass of the roof through the roof of your mouth through the mouth of your eye through the eye of the needle it's easier for me to get closer to heaven than ever feel whole again

i never said i would stay to the end i knew i would leave you with babies and everything screaming like this in the hole of sincerity screaming me over and over and over i leave you with photographs pictures of trickery stains on the carpet and stains on the memory songs about happiness murmured in dreams when we both of us knew how the end always is...

how the end always is...
- The Cure, "Disintegration"

Household6 and I have not been getting along as of late. It's a case of her having a continuous case of the ass and my not wanting to deal with it, so we've stopped communicating in the meantime. Today's run was about 40 minutes of thinking about the alternative. The unsettling thing is that it's not the first time I've deliberated that course of action during a morning run. Whether I really feel like following through is a pretty pivotal question.

I'll be out of town from Monday to Friday. I'll see if I still feel this way after I get back.

Splits
1.5 12:27 12:27 08:18
2.1 30:31 18:04 08:36
1.5 42:56 12:25 08:17 08:20