7.8mi, 71:56, 27 FEB 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 381 of the campaign.

iThink: Dos Gringos, "Has Anybody Seen My Wingman?"

WX at 2330: 37 (3) DP 15 (-9) BP 30.15 (1021) WNW 3 RH 40

Odometer 3: 355.8mi

Z3.
Average/max heart rate = 158/168

This is perimeter run 75.

I probably would've hit the rowing machine, but there were two guys who were going to run the perimeter, slowly, and I was totally game. It's unusual that I get in a night run with someone else, but it was good. It also validated why I wear my Garmin Forerunner, as we were all over the map on pace. We stayed honest only because I was calling out splits and pace. I've been pretty good about staying relatively steady on pace, but I find that I might be an exception to the rule as not everyone else shares my relative consistency.

I am noticing my knees hurt a bit more. I also know that I've done enough walking in these shoes that it's probably not just 356 miles in these and it's probably time to toss these in the trash.

I'm also gratified at the bizarre phenomenon of actually doing PT for four consecutive days, something I haven't done in months. Literally, I think.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 09:12 09:12 09:12 09:12 1.00
1.00 18:31 09:19 09:19 09:15 2.00
1.00 27:46 09:15 09:15 09:15 3.00
1.00 37:12 09:26 09:26 09:18 4.00
1.00 46:30 09:18 09:18 09:18 5.00
1.00 56:02 09:32 09:32 09:20 6.00
1.00 65:12 09:10 09:10 09:19 7.00
0.77 71:56 06:44 08:45 09:15 7.77

2.0mi hash, time indeterminate, 26 FEB 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 380 of the campaign.

iThink: None.

WX at 2330: 35 (2) DP 17 (-8) BP 30.06 (1018) W 3 RH 47

Odometer 3: 348.0mi

Z1-Z4.
Average/max heart rate = 129/176

I was frankly surprised that I was able to make a hash happen today. This week has been so bad for workload that I was almost unable to get out and make this happen. I was actually glad that I did. This was a well-marked trail that allowed the pack to stay together in a way that I haven't seen in some trails lately.

My legs were pretty sore from running the perimeter yesterday, though. There were some parts where I had small bursts of speed, but my legs were pretty well beat.

I'm actually more gratified that I've done PT three days in a row for the first time in months. Literally.

No Splits.

7.8mi, 67:44, 26 FEB 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 380 of the campaign.

iThink:
Killing Zone, "All Along the Watchtower"
Tommy Keene, "Highwire Days"

WX at 0030: 37 (3) DP 17 (-8) BP 30.03 (1017) W 6 RH 44

Odometer 3: 345.9mi

Z4.
Average/max heart rate = 167/174

This is perimeter run 74.

The weather was the clearest during my entire tour. Literally. I resolved to crank out a perimeter run, no matter how late it was. And it was worth it. I ran a lot more slowly than I expected - but it also comes after a day of cranking hard on the erg and this is the most PT I've done in a row in a few months. Seriously.

Times were inconsistent tonight, but I started too fast relative to actual ability and I was facing more winds than I've seen in a while. It's not time for the winds of summer, and I'll leave Afghanistan before that happens, but I haven't run in a while either.

I intend to hash tomorrow, so the streak continues. It's a start.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:23 08:23 08:23 08:23 1.00
1.00 17:25 09:02 09:02 08:43 2.00
1.00 26:05 08:40 08:40 08:42 3.00
1.00 34:59 08:54 08:54 08:45 4.00
1.00 43:48 08:49 08:49 08:46 5.00
1.00 52:32 08:44 08:44 08:45 6.00
1.00 61:26 08:54 08:54 08:47 7.00
0.73 67:44 06:18 08:38 08:46 7.73

10,000m on Concept2 Model D, 44:14.0, 25 FEB 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 379 of the campaign.

iThink:
Aly & AJ, "Chemicals React"
The Cure, "A Forest"

WX at 0030: 33 (1) DP 21 (-6) BP 30.03 (1017) WNW 6 RH 59 WC 26 (-3)

Odometer 3 (at 50% equivalence): 338.1mi

Z4.
Average/max heart rate = 163/185

I don't like exercising with headphones on. I tend to sweat so much that my headphones become somewhat soggy. Eeuww. Therefore, I'm stuck with whatever's on the radio in the gym, rather than being able to iThink my way through my workout unmolested. This wasn't an issue in the other places where I've had a Concept because there was no background music, and I could figure out whatever the hell mantra I was going to use.

I was able to get out of the headquarters early enough (i.e., before midnight) that I was able to get to the gym and crank out my customary 10,000. This is a good sign, actually, that I'm getting stronger again, although I don't feel it much.

I weighed in at 181, which is less than I thought I was, which was 185. This is also encouraging. I'd like to get back down to below 179 again, which I think I'm starting to do through diet (finally), and if I continue to do this, I think I'll get leaner (as I'm working things other than just legs when I crank on the spinner). I have noticed that I've been shaving off about 5 seconds per workout so far. I think this is an indicator of not having rowed regularly in a while rather than any indicators of actual improved fitness, but I could be wrong.

I absolutely must do this more often than every three days. That is not enough.

Splits
Distance: 10000
Time: 00:44:14
Per 500m: 02:13
Drag Factor : 183
Per Mile: 00:07:07

10,000m on Concept2 Model D, 44:25.7, 21 FEB 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 376 of the campaign.

iThink:
The All-American Rejects, "Breakin'"
Belle and Sebastian, "Sleep the Clock Around"

WX at 0030: 35 (2) 28 (-2) 30.12 (1020) W 6 smoke; mist RH 74 WC 30 (-1)

Odometer 3 at 50% equivalence: 335.0mi

Z4.
Average/max heart rate = 161/183

It has literally been a week since the last time I worked out. I thought things might slow down after finishing the last order, but within a day or two after finishing it, I was the escort officer for multiple civilian officials from the Pentagon the first few days of this past week. I am now also the acting chief of plans, rightly or wrongly.

I'm tired. Again. At some point, and we also managed to get the office redesign I'd been planning for the last four months, finally, that meant that we've been packing out. We might get a decent interval, but I'm not sure when.

I really, really need to work out every day or at least try. A week is far too long. When I'm making choices between exercise and sleep, this is problematic.

I'm not sure why I was thinking of Belle and Sebastian, but for some reason, I was reminded of the film Juno, although this wasn't either of the songs that was in that movie, I think. Or maybe it was "Expectations" and my memory's just spotty since the last time I listened to a lot of Belle and Sebastian was a decade ago.

Splits
Distance: 10000
Time: 00:44:26
Per 500m: 02:13
Drag Factor : 186
Per Mile: 00:07:09

Background music

During my time in Afghanistan, for whatever reason, I get particular songs stuck in my head right after waking up. I'm not sure why, or what the reason is behind whatever song, but it is interesting occasionally, as some come completely unbidden. This morning is no exception as I haven't listened to U2 in years - and yet, "Like A Song" from their album War is this morning's background music.

Other improbable ones have included "My Flaming Red Bobsled" by Cub and innumerable Dos Gringos songs. Indeed, if I had to think of a wryly appropriate soundtrack for this tour, Dos Gringos is as good as any, unless that's just because I'm thinking about Jeremiah Weed more often than otherwise - although that has figured prominently as a running mantra over the last year as well.

10,000m on Concept2 Model D, 44:30, 15 FEB 09, Kabul, Afghanistan

Day 369 of the campaign.

iThink:
The All-American Rejects, "Move Along"

WX at 0130: 23 (-5) DP 15 (-9) BP 30.18 (1022) NNW 6 RH 73 WC 15 (-9)

Odometer 3: (+1.0 from elliptical+50% on spinner) 331.9mi

Z3, Z5 finish.
Average/max heart rate = 155/183

I was waiting on someone who was on the Concept2, and his form was just painful to watch, so I decided to save it for later tonight.

Problem was, it wasn't tonight. It was a day and a half later, and I attacked the Concept2 with a vengeance. I was concentrating on smooth form, and as usual, found that I was pulling an average faster time without really worrying about the clock or the time when I was concentrating on smooth, consistent form.

I still have a ways to go, although I will admit being at 5,000 feet probably makes a difference.

I'm glad there's a Concept2 here, although I have to admit I'm more partial to a Model C, which has been out of production for a long, long while.

Courage might mean hanging on for a moment longer. It sure meant that for me cranking away to finish in 44:30 - after most of this was spent with an estimated finish time of 44:50. I guess this is an example of "if I want it that bad, I'll kill it into existence" on the spinner...or to quote Frank Miller, from Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, "You sold us out, Clark. You gave them the power that should have been ours. Just like your parents taught you to. My parents taught me a different lesson...lying on the street, shaking in deep shock, dying for no reason at all. They showed me that the world only makes sense when you force it to."

And so ends another Valentine's Day...

Splits
Distance: 10000
Time: 00:44:31
Per 500m: 02:14
Drag Factor : 190
Per Mile: 00:07:10

The Two Words of the Day: courage and rancor

"Courage...means hanging on for just one moment longer." I think of this, perhaps, after the last few months, where my coworkers and I have been saying to ourselves "we just have to make it through this month and maybe the workload will back off." We've been saying that since July and we're still just hanging on.

On the other hand, there's rancor. Right now, there are big wet hairy flakes of snow coming down where I am. At a steady rate. I think of the enemy, out in the snow, and the first thought that comes to mind is to let them freeze. If they want heat, then let 'em burn.

I've never denied my darker side - but I also usually don't celebrate death the way I have lately, either. We also lost three soldiers this past week - not as bad as the bad days of August, but an awful lot for the winter at once.

After a year of working over 16 hours a day, I realize that I have gotten to the point that David Drake wrote about in The Military Dimension, that war makes people insane by civilian standards. After they return, they may return to those civilian standards. After a while.

10,000m on Concept2 Model D, 46:25, 10 FEB 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 364 of the campaign.

iThink: None. Couldn't fix on any one song since there was music in the background.

WX at 2330: 32 (0) DP 24 (-4) BP 30.00 (1016) NW 7 haze; smoke RH 74

Odometer 4: (at 50% equivalence) 110.1mi

Z4 by feel only.

First time in a long while that I've hit the spinner. I found out yesterday that there was a Concept2 Model D in our gym, so now I have a very real incentive to get back on the stick in a way that I'm pretty sure will keep me engaged. Besides, not too many other folks want to hit the rowing machine here, aside from the Crossfitters who seem to enjoy that sort of stuff - but not at the distances I row.

I haven't worked that hard in a while - and running, even when I'm going hard, doesn't really work the same thing.

I was stiff, and at first, I was encouraged at clocking 2:05/500m, but reality set in quickly, and I was much closer to 2:15/500m for the first 4500m, then just barely hanging on at 2:20-2:24/500m at the end. I was tired, but I was determined to finish 10,000. I'm sure I'll get stronger - I haven't done this in a long, long time. There was a cold fury behind tonight's work - somewhat like the same attitude I get when I'm going to finish something or kill anyone in my way. But it's the road to recovery. And I may be going home sooner than I thought originally when I got here.

It's no accident I've wanted a Concept2 for a long, long time, but the only chance I might have to get one will be after I come back from Afghanistan.

Splits
Distance: 10000
Time: 00:46:25
Per 500m: 02:19
Drag Factor : 186
Per Mile: 00:07:28

7.8mi, 66:40, 9 FEB 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 363 of the campaign.

iThink:
Housewife, "Channel Noir"
Bear McCreary, "The Ballad of Gaeta"
Sonny Rhodes, "Ballad of Serenity"
The Smiths, "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out"

WX at 2330: 37 (3) DP 32 (0) BP 30.09 (1019) SSE 2 RH 80

Odometer 4: 107.0mi

Z4.
Average/max heart rate = 162/178

This is perimeter run 73.

I chickened out of running yesterday, but decided since I left work uncharacteristically early (i.e., 10:00pm) I'd get in my run. It was a little faster than before, and I was running more efficiently, but right now I'm weighing in at 185, and that's too much. I'm also working off some of the lard accumulated by writing the plan I did over the last few months.

I should eat less, but I'm not that disciplined lately.

I do have enough discipline, however, to get out and run.

I found out there's a Concept2 Model D in the gym. I suddenly feel much less compelled to run when I can get back on the saddle and crank away. Oh hell yeah.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:40 08:40 08:40 08:40 1.00
1.00 17:22 08:42 08:42 08:41 2.00
1.00 26:08 08:46 08:46 08:43 3.00
1.00 34:57 08:49 08:49 08:44 4.00
1.00 43:22 08:25 08:25 08:40 5.00
1.00 51:55 08:33 08:33 08:39 6.00
1.00 60:24 08:29 08:29 08:38 7.00
0.76 66:40 06:16 08:15 08:35 7.76

7.8mi, 66:55, 8 FEB 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 362 of the campaign.

iThink:
The Bats, "Courage"
Michael Kamen, Opening credits to From The Earth To the Moon

WX at 0130: 28 (-2) DP 19 (-7) BP 30.24 (1024) NW 6 RH 68

Odometer 3: 328.8mi

Z3-Z4.
Average/max heart rate = 159/179

This is perimeter run 72.

Tonight's not a school night, so I decided to go for a late night run. Sure beats lighting up cancer sticks to let off steam, and besides, I need to think about something different than why I don't want to talk to anyone, because the last few weeks has been sad validation about my basic belief in human nature.

I realized, though, that after almost a year in the combat zone, I cannot listen to Taps without crying. At the same time, I have no doubt that if I had occasion to level off my bullet launcher at someone I'm supposed to shoot, I'll do my damndest to put two rounds 5.56mm through that person's lethal zone. Maybe that's why I felt compelled to rewatch parts of The Lost Battalion, a really underrated movie starring Rick Schroder in a very compelling, non-Silver Spoons-like performance.

Coming up on St. Valentine's Day - and the first thing I think of whenever I think of that is St. Sebastian, getting shot with arrows and roasted on a grill by angry Roman soldiers. I also decided to rewatch the film Juno to remind me of a time when I was once still in love.

Splits
SGMT AGGRG SEGMT PERMI AVGPC DIST
1.00 08:43 08:43 08:43 08:43 1.00
1.00 17:38 08:55 08:55 08:49 2.00
1.00 26:17 08:39 08:39 08:46 3.00
1.00 34:52 08:35 08:35 08:43 4.00
1.00 43:21 08:29 08:29 08:40 5.00
1.00 52:01 08:40 08:40 08:40 6.00
1.00 60:39 08:38 08:38 08:40 7.00
0.75 66:55 06:16 08:21 08:38 7.75

~5mi, time indeterminate, 5 FEB 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Still day 359 of the campaign.

iThink: None.

WX at 2330: 28 (-2) DP 19 (-7) BP 30.03 (1017) WNW 6 RH 69

Odometer 3: 321.0mi

Z2-4.
Average/max heart rate = no reading.

I wasn't intending on hashing tonight, but after the course became an A-A trail, I decided to run. I was glad I did - it's the most substantive PT I've done in days, not counting my 30 minutes whittling away on the elliptical.

It's always hard to follow trail - but more so during the middle of the night on rocks. Still, it's easier than laying trail myself, and I got some good stretches of speed in just to shake things out.

No Splits.

2.95mi simulated, 30:00, 5 FEB 09, Bagram, Afghanistan

Day 359 of the campaign.

iThink: None.

WX at 0130: 33 (1) DP 33 (1) BP 29.97 (1015) SE 2 mist RH 100

Odometer 4: 99.2mi

Z2.
Average/max heart rate = 117/133

First PT in almost a week, I think. At least it feels like it. We are going through the finish of our last major order, and I think it's probably the best order we've collectively written. It also reflects my extremely coercive view of the nature of my work and has been goddamn near all-consuming lately.

I've also found that as I've been downrange, I have progressively less and less to talk with Household6. She lives in a universe that is utterly alien to the attitude that sometimes terrible things have to be done because they are necessary. This is my reality.

It is no accident that I had the lyrics to Throwing Muses' "Shimmer" in my head this morning when I stepped out to work: "it don't rain under the water, it don't rain inside my heart."

Continuing to work my way through Keri Hulme's The Bone People. There are some parallels to my own life, it seems, from time to time, with that book. Not that I'm Maori or anything.

No splits.

The Coolest Thing Ever

I've been playing with Celestia Portable, a space simulator, and realize that my astrogation skills suck. But it's pretty neat, and after spending much of a day writing plans about how I'm going to find a way to kill certain demographics of people, there's some strange release in playing around with this.

When I don't feel like flying around at relativistic speeds to go see things like the Small Magellanic Cloud and M31, I can stay on Earth and look at constellations with Stellarium Portable instead.